There is no easy way to go about rejection. It hurts. Coming from a job interview you always thought you’d make it, from a company you always aspired to be a part of or your love interest whom you dearly want – it is going to hit you like a bullet.
The pain inflicted by rejection, being of emotional nature, has a very long-term effect. It is going to be worse than physical pain. Not only will it hurt at the moment when you encounter it, but whenever you would reflect back and think about it, it might come back with the same intensity.
The consequences and impact is quite multi-dimensional. If you have been rejected or excluded from a social gathering, it might make you think that you are unworthy, which is why they do not want you around.
If you have faced rejection at the hands of a lover, it might take the worse toll on your confidence, making you think that you are not likable enough. If you have been rejected by a company in matters of hiring or promotion, it may trigger thoughts like ‘I am not competent enough’.
But you have to fight them. You have to come out of that phase as a better and improved person, who knows how to handle the situation when things do not go your way.
Now the question is: How to go that? How to make it hurt a little less? How to mentally strong people deal with rejection?
This is exactly what we are going to talk about today. The people you see around you, who look happy and content with their lives, might internally be on the verge of breaking. You never know what everyone is dealing with in their personal life.
Now you must be thinking that if everyone is facing something at their end, then how are they making it through their lives? How are they functioning with such normalcy? Do they have nerves of steel and the heart of stone?
Well in reality, there is nothing like that. They are as many humans like you and me. It hurts them the same. But there are some practices that set them apart. It is how they choose to deal with it.
If it is hurting you too much – remember that it will get better. And you can make yourself feel better in the following ways. Here are 5 effective ways to deal with rejection:
#1 Acknowledge what you feel.
This is the first step to a better reaction mechanism. Accept yourself and give yourself that space. Anger, sadness, discouragement, disappointment – these are all real human emotions and you must allow yourself to feel them.
However with acknowledgment, the second step is trust. You must trust yourself to have the ability to deal with these emotions as well. You are stronger than it. And you need to effectively regulate yourself. Don’t let your emotions cast a shadow on your behavior. You should not treat the people who care about you as an outlet of anger and drive them away. Control is the key.
#2 Tell yourself that it’s realistic. There is nothing wrong with it.
Do you know why some people who have had the worst encounters in life are still holding up better? Because they are realists.
They know what is coming their way. When they apply for a job or ask someone out, they have a very close-to-reality expectation from it. Some things are beyond your control. You might give your best and still not make it. You might love them the most and still might not be compatible enough.
Hence, whenever you are proceeding for something like that, you must be mentally prepared. You must tell yourself that it is not necessary that it would go your way. If you have a realistic approach to it, it won’t affect you that bad.
#3 The love and compassion: You deserve it the most
How you treat yourself is an example for others to follow. Your behavior towards your own self defines what others adopt. Hence, before giving that energy and love to someone else, recognize that you deserve it the most.
Strong people treat themselves with most love and compassion. Tone down the inner critic. Hear yourself out. Give yourself enough space to talk to you. All those negativity that is clouding your mind, answer it with more strong and self-affirming messages. That is the only way to go about it!
#4 Do not let it define you
Here it is: you can be the ripest peach in the garden and there still would be someone who does not like peaches. And that is the truth. If you understand and accept this golden rule, nothing can get to your head.
Just because they rejected you when you asked them out, it does not mean that there is something wrong with you. They might have different preferences in life, like you do, and everyone else does. Respect their decision and respect yourself. Take it gracefully. Never, never let it define you. You are more than that.
#5 Learn from rejection
Just like everything else in life, rejection comes with a lesson as well. It teaches you to love yourself and be strong. It sends out a message to recognize your own self-worth and makes you mentally strong. You learn how to survive in a non-favorable atmosphere, ultimately teaching you the most valuable lesson of patience.
You would either recognize some areas in your life that need to be improved. Or you would find out that there is more to life than that. The experience will make you realize that it is not as awful.
You never know how strong you are unless that is the only choice you have. Rejection, at the end of the day, is a blessing in disguise. It unlocks your hidden potential. It educates you about the power and strength that you thought you never had.
At the end of the day, you are stronger than all of it!
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