Have you been feeling like a stranger in your marriage? It’s one thing to be single and feels lonely. However, when you’re married and still feeling ignored, there’s a problem. Not only is it isolating but if the issue isn’t addressed, it’ll only lead to more distance in the marriage.
But before jumping to the worst possible conclusions, you need to understand that your husband ignoring you isn’t something that happened overnight. It might have started with unanswered calls and texts, coming home late, silent dinners, and led to you living like two strangers under the same roof.
A lot of the time, the issues behind this can be deep-rooted that develop over weeks, even months. Instead of dealing with these issues through some open and honest communication, men often find it easier to avoid them; which is why they end up ignoring you. So what are these issues and what can you do to try and resolve them?
#1 You might have been too controlling
Ask yourself if you’ve been keeping a lot of tabs on your husband, demanding to know where he is every second of the day and trying to control his free time? Let’s say he comes home and spends the next four hours watching TV instead of spending time with you. You get frustrated (understandably) and start nagging at him.
Men value their independence a lot, and so even though the first few times he might listen to you, if this becomes a common occurrence, he’s going to start feeling like his time is being controlled. As a result, he might start coming home late and spending those 4 hours outside, with his friends to avoid you.
Asking him to spend time with you once in a while is okay, however, the problem starts when you start expecting him to spend all his free time with you. If he thinks he’s expected to spend all his time planning romantic dinners and showering you with the attention he might start to feel a little trapped. This can result in a lot of frustration and a craving for space to do the things he wants to do.
#2 How can you get his attention back?
You need to remember that marriage is a very long commitment. No matter how much you love each other, there needs to be a balance of space and time for a healthy relationship.
You need to start spending some time apart for a few hours of the day. Focus on yourself more, and indulge in activities or hobbies that distract you from thinking about what your husband might be doing every second of the day. Try to memorize those moments that surprised your husband about your beauty, looks, or talks and then adapt to the same once again and start noticing; to see what works best for you.
#3 He thinks he’s always in the wrong
In marriage, it can be very easy to start focusing on your partner’s faults after the honeymoon phase is over. You tend to get fixated on how often your husband is late, how he’s behaving around mutual friends, how he’s failing to contribute to chores etc.
However, if you start getting into constant arguments with your husband about all his shortcomings, he’s going to think he’s always disappointing you. Hence to avoid feeling like a letdown, he’ll most probably start avoiding you.
#4 Appreciate your partner
Even though your partner’s shortcomings can be frustrating, for the sake of your relationship, it’s generally more important to focus on (and appreciate) what they’re doing right rather than what they are not. Getting a positive response as a result of their actions will most probably motivate them to keep doing it. Instead of thinking about how you’ll be nagging at them for what they fail to do, they’ll be thinking about what they can do to make you feel better.
#5 He’s struggling to open up about personal problems
Another reason why men can be closed off and distant is because they are going through their struggles such as mental health issues, extended family stress, work stress, financial stress, etc.
Vulnerability does not come easily to most men. If they’re uncomfortable or embarrassed to talk about their issues, they’ll probably start ignoring you. This doesn’t necessarily mean they no longer love you; they simply have a lot going on in their lives to focus on your marriage.
#6 Helping your partner; let him open up to you
If you suspect that your husband might be going through something, you need to create a loving environment where he feels comfortable enough to open up without receiving any sort of judgment or resentment.
When he seems a bit more relaxed, tell him about how you’ve noticed that he’s been stressed lately and ask if there’s anything that you can do to help. Ask if he wants to talk about it and let him know that whatever it is, you’ll work through it together.
Be open-minded, accepting, and seek the professional help of any kind if needed.
Even though every relationship is different, these are some of the most common reasons why husbands might be ignoring their wives. We hope this article helped provide some insight into your marriage and what you can do to make it better!
Disclaimer: Content Research, Product Opinion & Publication Process
The articles, cosmetic tutorials, and beauty tips on SheBegan magazine are contributed by experienced fashion professionals, beauty & cosmetics experts. The team of our beauty and cosmetics professionals tests the products and then share the outcomes with proper citations and then after passing all the research & editorial checks; the content is sent live making sure there exists No Conflict of Interest. You can read about our authors, volunteers, team members and editorial board with our content review, product testing, tutorial guidance process here.