Expressing anger without pushing your partner away with 6 tips

Anger is a normal human emotion but when in continual, it can have adverse effects on your health, relationships, and mental health. It is very important to manage your anger because vending it might seem healthy to you, but unintentionally you may hurt others.

Not managing your negative emotions will lead you to the path of personality destruction and can generate mental stress, hence impacting you physically. You must be aware of your temper. It elevates slowly but once it goes out of hand, achieving normalcy can be very difficult.

6 Tips to Express Anger without being Rude

However, one must know how to effectively communicate, without causing irreparable damage. Wondering how to do it? Listen to what we have to say:

  • Analyze yourself to see if you are feeling angry:

If you are frustrated with your partner for some reason, first of all, try to understand what’s making you uncomfortable. That’s pretty natural at some point in relationships, we may feel angry but we must be digging the reason for it to address it.

We often think that anger towards your partner will make them listen to you more. But instead of that, the more effective and sustainable way to address the issue is that you talk and sort it out to find a combined solution.

  • Communicate it before it’s out of control :

If you are even a slightly angry towards your partner, just speak up because keeping the things inside yourself won’t unknot them. Carrie Krawiec narrates it perfectly, saying “ it may be easy for them to swallow I’m angry just then.”

Not expressing your feelings and pretending that ‘it’s alright’ might create relationship distances. Speak up and take long breathes. Say it. Forgive. Let go.

  • Be expressive and confide what you want from your partner:

Just keep one thing in your mind: your partner isn’t a mind reader. It is mandatory for your partner to know what you want from them.

Only two of you can help each other to find a way out. Self-esteem and bonding depend on honesty mainly. And the moment when one starts becoming dishonest, the relationship automatically loses its effectiveness.

  • Utilize the ”I” viewpoint:

You have to be expressive, but that doesn’t mean that you have to blame them. During the arguments, try to start your statement addressing “I”. Because starting a sentence with “you” can be offensive or may lead to criticism, forcing your partner to go into the defensive mode rather than accepting where they were wrong.

If you are feeling low or unhappy, just try how to let it out. Sometimes we gather so much anger that vents in such a way that is too harsh. We must avoid going into that phase, and address it effectively at the moment rather than piling it up.

  • If you feel tired take a quick pause:

If you are bursting out with anger, and you think you need some space to clear your mind from negativity; go for it as soon as you start feeling down. Krawiec suggests that 20 minutes are enough.

If you don’t want to change the place, then close your eyes for a few minutes and stop thinking. According to krawiec, it will release oxytocin in the body which helps in lowering stress levels. This will also make a realization that you are in a present relationship and things can go well, unlike how they went in the past.

  • Give them an opportunity to improve things without expecting anything in return:

If you know that your partner is not good at encountering arguments, give them their personal space to create their viewpoints. Don’t force them to make a conclusion or a result without letting them think.

A psychologist Melissa Brown suggests inquiring if you both can be together again and what steps can be taken to make the togetherness smooth. Don’t blame your partner for everything. Try to admit if a mistake is from your side. Look at the issues with a more ‘problem solving’ approach rather than establishing who is wrong and who is right.

  • Give attention to them if they have anything to explain:

If you have made your mind to truly resolve the issue, it will require a both-sided commitment. Fonger tells “ if you are done with expressing your rage, make sure you and your mate have something left to say”.

Listen to them with your full attention and comprehend what they are trying to say and explain. See your anger as a chance to examine your shortcomings as well. Work on the loopholes and areas that need to be addressed.

Avoid interrupting them between the conflict. Displeasure explained in an effective way can improve interactions. Never think that it’s too late to rectify things. Apologize as it makes relationship flexible.

Try always to make the relationship healthier and stronger. As long as you will keep expressing what you feel, every matter will then be definitely resolved. Keep doing the things that keep you happy and together.

Anger, when expressed too harshly, only leads to regret later. Keep yourself strong because the stronger you will feel, the more you’ll able to overcome your rage and fight the negativity in your head.

In the end, it is all about you. You are the only person you can set the direction for your energy. Anything expressed with a bitter tone will only lose its effectiveness.

As Dale writes, criticism only pushes the next person into the defensive phase. To get the results you want, you must learn the art of effective communication. Do not let the harsh negativity make it less effective.

Criticism is neither result-yielding nor an efficient manner to execute and express if you want long-term results. Sit down and talk to your partner. Express how certain things are adversely impacting your bond and how you really want to work on them.

Anger is draining. It takes away some of the most beautiful moments of life from you. Do not succumb to it. You are stronger than it. 

Disclaimer: Content Research, Product Opinion & Publication Process

The articles, cosmetic tutorials, and beauty tips on SheBegan magazine are contributed by experienced fashion professionals, beauty & cosmetics experts. The team of our beauty and cosmetics professionals tests the products and then share the outcomes with proper citations and then after passing all the research & editorial checks; the content is sent live making sure there exists No Conflict of Interest. You can read about our authors, volunteers, team members and editorial board with our content review, product testing, tutorial guidance process here.

Zahira Bano

Zahira holds a Ph.D. in Cosmetics Surgery and Pharma. She worked with Mashable's and some other beauty, skincare, and wellness blogs. She is also a well-known researcher from Nanjing University of Science & Technology. She also writes on the female empowerment motivational topics in her leisure time.

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