Rejection is inevitable. Rejections cannot be avoided. It hurts deeply and enormously when we are rejected, be it in a relationship, a job, or any sort of invitation. However, believe it or not, but it is a universal thing. People all around the world have been rejected at some point in their lives.
Studies reveal that the pain due to rejection feels the same as physical pain. The regions of our brain that detect the pain get activated for the people who take rejection too seriously; rather than taking it as an opportunity for improvement.
There are some people in the world who fear rejection more than others. Once it happens to them, they fear of it happening again. This type of behavior stops them from living a happy life and more importantly, from taking risks. It inhibits them from the thrill and adventure of life.
10 Tips to Get Over Rejections
It isn’t very pleasant when someone you love or something you wanted so badly is rejected to you. Although one cannot avoid being rejected in life, there are certain ways to avoid the fear of rejection and at least handle it better. Today, we discuss them with you:
- Knowing Your Worth:
When a person is rejected, they often think that they weren’t good enough. They feel bad about themselves and think that the other person can do better than them, inflicting self-doubt and making them feel like it is their fault entirely. You are wrong here.
You must always know your worth. You must not think that the cause of rejection was only you. You must not blame yourself for whatever happened.
It is a common sight that people, particularly teens, try to change themselves for others, just because they fear being rejected by a group of popular kids at school or college. They try to act ‘cool’ to impress others and forget their real self. Always remember that you are the best the way you are.
- Validating Your Feelings:
It’s perfectly normal to feel sad or depressed after rejection. The pain it causes is also unavoidable. But running away from it or denying the fact that you are in pain and grief is NOT okay. You must accept your pain, own it. It is the best way to manage the problem and this acceptance to the fact will make you feel better. If you won’t listen to yourself, who else will?
- Learning from the experiences:
Rejection; whatever caused it, always teaches us something important. Instead of locking yourself in a room or stopping to socialize, just THINK about two things:
- WHY it happened;
- What will let it not happen again?
And that’s it. Move on.
- Figuring out What Really Scares You About It:
There’s always a base behind every fear. Finding out what’s niggling behind your head that causes you to fear rejection helps. For example, if you fear being rejected in a friendship, it’s maybe because you really fear being left alone. Finding and overcoming basic fear often helps to overcome rejection.
- Facing The Fear:
Running away from a situation just because you are afraid of being rejected is not an option. It limits your opportunities and stops you from reaching your goals. You must always look on the brighter side. You sure can lose but there’s also a fat chance of winning. Life is all about taking risks, no?
- Relying on People who Care:
Surround yourself with people who know you well, understand their sentiments, and try to be close to their hearts. They can be your parents, siblings, or your friends – anyone who can make an ordeal, feel less thorny, and make the rejection less painful.
- Remembering that You Are Not Alone:
Convince yourself that rejection is not the most ‘extraordinary’ thing that you are facing. There are loads of people out there whose expectations don’t match reality. It is a perfectly normal thing. This sense of togetherness harnesses in the courage to face the impacts of rejection.
- Keeping a Clear Viewpoint:
If you are a sensitive kind of a person, and an over-thinker, you might brace yourself by thinking that it could’ve been much worse. Imagining that if you didn’t qualify for an interview and that you will never be able to pass any test or acquire any job and end up broke and on the streets is not very motivating.
Research shows that this type of negative thought spiral is called catastrophizing. Think about some backup plans and try to counter-argument your worst fears.
- Avoiding Self-criticism:
It is just so effortless blaming yourself for whatever happened. You might come up with some excuses that your qualifications and skills are not up to the mark. That you are so boring and always mess things up. That there’s wrong in you and you are the reason everything gets messed up in the end.
This just forces you to believe that the rejection was a mere fault of yours. Thinking positive and avoiding such condemnable thoughts will not only improve your perspective but also strengthen your mind and soul to accomplish your unfulfilled dreams.
- Seeking Professional Help:
The effects of rejection should wear off on their own, eventually but there is every likelihood that you may need a professional to talk to. You may reach out to the therapist if you fear of rejection leads you to
- Depression and anxiety attacks
- Sense of uselessness
- Distress in your daily life
“Success is not FINAL, failure is not FATAL; it is the courage to continue that counts.”
The author is Winston Churchill and his words carry a special meaning for us.
It is true that there is no failure except in no longer trying. So next time you feel fearful of rejection, burry the thought then and there. Smile and rise, the world is yours to conquer!
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