Have you got a date with just the right person but, don’t know if you’ll be able to keep a decent conversation flowing or not? Maybe your date won’t find you interesting enough and you’ll be forced to sit through long minutes of awkward silences.
Well, you’re not alone as first dates can be very intimidating for most of us, especially with strangers, but we’ve got you covered with a bunch of fun topics to break the ice and get the conversation going. Hopefully, with the help of these tips, no one’s going to be running to the bathroom or having ‘family emergencies’ on the date anytime soon!
Here are a few reminders to get in the right mindset before your date:
- It’s a date, not an interrogation!
We cannot stress the importance of this one enough! While a few questions here and there are necessary to get to know each other, asking too many is going to make your date feel like they’re being interrogated and that may get on their nerves. You should be able to build your conversation based on the answers you’re getting by using follow up questions and sharing your experiences alongside.
- Your date is there because they like you so don’t be too shy!
Remember the only reason someone agreed to go out with you in the first place is that they think you have something to offer so don’t be too worried about everything not going perfectly. You don’t have to come prepared with 30 questions for your date to keep things interesting. Just be present at the moment, be yourself and remember that you will inevitably have some awkward moments of silence which is completely okay!
- Be flirtatious!
Instead of constantly worrying about how well the date is going, get out of your head and start having fun! Be flirtatious and playfully tease your date about things you might have already talked about before. Everyone loves spending time with people who make them laugh till their tummies hurt and you need to show them that you’re more than fully capable of doing that!
How to get the conversation going on your First Date:
Remember that there are two people on the date, both equally nervous so take a quick breather. Start the conversation on a lighter note (example: asking about their day, childhood, hobbies, etc.) and see where it goes from there!
- Compliment them!
Complimenting your date is always a great start! Most people put in a lot of effort to look good for their date and letting them know you acknowledge and appreciate shows that you are caring and observant. This will also start the date off on a very positive note and put your date in a great mood for the rest of the night!
- Ask about their day/ week
Sometimes, you can get the best stories out of people by asking about their day or current life events. However a simple “So how’s your day been?” can seem a little boring and almost lazy. Instead, ask them the best part of their day so far, or the most beautiful thing they witnessed recently, or if they had learned something new that week or not.
In case they have a negative response such as “oh, it’s not been the best if I’m being honest…” you can always ask to follow-up questions to get a deeper insight into their lives. However, if they are avoiding a certain topic, then it’s best not to push it. Remember, it’s only your first date!
- Talk to them about their career!
When you ask your date about their job/ career, it’s a good idea to ask if that’s their dream job or not. If not, then chances are they will most likely elaborate on what it is that they actually want to do in life. On the other hand, if they are perfectly happy with their career, you could ask them about their inspiration for their chosen fields. In either case, you’ll learn more about their passion and drive for personal success!
- What are some fun activities they like to engage in?
Most of the time, nothing bonds people more than having a mutual interest in certain hobbies, movies, TV shows, books, etc.! A lot of us can go on ranting for hours about the characters we love and movies that have touched our hearts. Casually slip novels, TV shows, hobbies, or artists you’re passionate about into your conversation and ask about theirs.
If you have a similar taste in movies, you can always cheekily hint at watching something together on a future date. A possible book swap is also a great idea if you’re both into reading. Regardless of whatever activity it may be, showing genuine interest in their passion will speak volumes about your character and it might even give you a chance to do an activity related to it together later on.
- Get to know their biggest achievements!
While there are some out there who like to toot their horns, most people are quite shy when it comes to talking about their achievements or best qualities, etc. So give them the push they need and ask what they’re most proud of in their life and what that particular experience was like for them. They will most probably be asking you this question too, and while you should be proud of your successes, remember to stay humble about it and not drone on about yourself for too long!
- Their travel experiences!
People who’ve traveled to different countries often have the best stories to share about the places they’ve seen, people they’ve met, and just the wonderful experiences they’ve had. By talking about your travels and asking about theirs, you might also discover places you’ve both been to which opens up a whole other conversation! What people focus on while recalling their travels usually ends up telling you a lot about their interests as well- be it food, the places, the people, culture and history, or maybe even just the hotels and photography.
- Do they have pets?
This one is for all pet owners whose pets play a huge role in their lives. They need to know if their potential partner is an animal lover and will tolerate cats or dogs in the house. Or will they run for the hills when a mere bird comes into sight?
At times, their response to this can also be used to know how they feel about having kids. If they respond with phrases such as “Oh yeah I love pets! It kind of feels like having a little kid to take care of!” then you can shift the conversation to ask how they feel about potentially having kids in the future!
- What’s their general outlook on life?
Who says first dates are only reserved for light-hearted and casual small talk. Nothing hits better than connecting with someone through deep conversations- getting to know their outlook on life and their values. You don’t have to get into political or religious debates (those do tend to get messy now and then) but ask about their opinions on topics such as friendships, family, faith, and maybe even love or destiny. Sometimes, a person’s core values can be the make or break of a relationship.
- Their childhood, family, and friends
Getting people to reminisce about their childhood and share stories about their friends and family is always super interesting. You learn a lot about a person by focusing on how they view friendship, whether they believe in love or not, and if they can maintain good ties with those around them
Some other fun topics to talk about on a first date include: how they like to relax, any special talents they might have, their pet peeves and potential deal-breakers, etc.
Regardless of whatever you end up conversing about, remember to treat your date with respect, and if all goes well, by the end of the night hint at a possible second date. If not, then you can politely bid them farewell, bag these tips, and pull them out in time for your next date!
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