Rejection is tough, and rejection is unavoidable. Whether it’s work-related, societal rejection, or rejection by your highschool sweetheart, rejection is practically inevitable, and yet so many of us fail to cope with rejection in a healthy, positive way. This owes to the lot of us fail to realize our flaws or fear acknowledgment of our short-comings. So if you’ve come here to make a move in the right direction and effectively cope with rejection then don’t worry we’ve got you.
Sometimes, rejection can be a real eye-opener because it forces you to believe that consequences to your choices are not limited. The only solution to not getting rejected ever again is to stop interacting with anyone again. Which is impractical. So our only real option to rejection is that we cope with it.
Here are a few things that will help you cope with rejection:
- Heartbreaks are a normal thing:
Expectations are the basic cause of rejection. If you feel rejected by a person it’s probably because you had expectations from them and they’ve portrayed a completely unexpected reaction. Since Expectations are unavoidable, so are rejections.
Studies show that emotional pain is also associated with physical changes. Rejection activates the same regions of our brain that get activated after a physical injury-and the pain is also similar to it. Different types of rejections stimulate different responses. For example, a work-related rejection may not be as hurtful as the rejection faced in an intimate relationship. Some refusals may stimulate the exact hormonal reaction when one is stopped from drug addiction.
- Own your feelings:
Pain is an aftermath of rejection. Ignoring or downplaying your damage won’t help you recover from it. Let the pain come, let yourself feel its blows. Ignoring the pain can have adverse effects later on, and by subduing the pain of rejections you are delaying the moving on phase. The faster you deal with the pain of rejection, the faster you get over it.
So the trick is to stop ignoring that you’re hurt, and you’ll see how quickly the pain leaves you. The key is to accept that you are rejected and move on slowly. Putting yourself out there and admitting to your feelings might make you feel vulnerable and that’s one of the reasons why some people deny what they really feel and by doing so, unintentionally feed their pain.
- Display your feelings:
Once you acknowledge your feelings, it’s important to display them instead of keeping them at bay or pretending to be ok. There is no need to hide your true feelings under the mask of fake ones, and this will not help you recover from the rejection you faced. Let your feelings flow naturally. If you feel like you want to weep, howl in pain or cry out loud don’t stop yourself. Expressing your feelings will help you recover from the hard times faster.
Hiding your feelings may drag you deeper into depression. These feelings pile up and eventually take a toll in the form of depression and anxiety. Don’t gulp your emotions for anything. Try to express your feelings as much as you can. This will help bring down your anxiety levels.
- Audit what you feel:
Find a couch or any comfortable place and think about the problem. Try to understand what you are exactly feeling. Try to understand why that specific thing is bothering you. Find out what was the cause of rejection. This will help you gain perspective.
Think about what made the other person reject you. Analyze your personality, and search for whatever feeling or behavior you have to work on. Such as working on your choices, decisions, etc. Whatever you find, try to improve yourself. Be the best version of yourself, try to satisfy your own standards. Facing rejection is an opportunity to evaluate yourself and make some changes.
- Reason with your thoughts:
Rejection often makes a person think negatively about themselves. They think stuff like, “maybe I wasn’t good enough”, “I am worthless”, “I am ugly” or “I don’t deserve anything good”. Avoid such negative thoughts. You can make the rejection feel less painful simply by giving a logical reason for it. For example, instead of saying “I was rejected because I am fat and ugly”, try saying “maybe we were right for each other”. See? It’s still a no but this way you’re improving your chances of coping with the damage.
- Don’t take your frustrations out on others:
Being mentally uncomfortable is the most annoying thing to go through. Rejection hurts. That’s a natural fact. But some respond to the rejection adversely, by projecting their emotions in the form of anger and frustration on others. It’s tough to find the silver lining in any cloud when you’re feeling such strong negative emotions but wallowing in your sadness brings nothing but heartache.
By projecting your negativity on others you might be making yourself more distant from your loved ones. This response may provoke further isolation and maybe even denial. So whenever you start to lose your temper just calm yourself down and point out the reason for aggression. This is the only way to get out of this and avoid further rejection. Nobody is responsible for the denial, remember that.
- Take care of your health:
Emotional distress can have dangerous repercussions on a person’s health. In all of the emotional mess, don’t forget that you still have your body to take care of. Exercise is the best way to maintain a healthy body, and it also diverts your mind from depressing thoughts. Do simple and easy stretches on a daily basis.
While we do not advise the use of medications to cope with emotional trauma, however, talking to your physician and with their approval taking medicinal therapies may prove an effective way to deal with the demons in your head. Experts have suggested that rejection triggers adverse physical responses in the body. So if you think nothing else is working, maybe give medicinal drugs a try.
With that said, overconsumption of alcohol and stress relieving pills might help you momentarily but can cause hazardous impacts on your body in the long run.
Science has suggested that exercising releases opioids which are the natural pain killers of the body. So whenever you feel down or low just go for a walk or any other physical activity you can do comfortably. Try to use your energy on combat sports, cardio-activity, or simply weight training, the point is to project your energy in the right direction.
Life doesn’t halt after one rejection. Life is beautiful, remember that. A lot of beautiful things are waiting for you. Heartbreaks and rejections are part of the process, you’ll have to keep going. There are many great things to happen. Be realistic and accept things with an open heart.
There is no need to demean yourself. Just keep improving and working on yourself. Try connecting with nature and hanging out with your friends. Be with the people who support you chastely. Be close to your loved and trusted ones. Such people can help you relieve the pain and make you happy. And always remember, never degrade yourself, you are perfect the way you are!
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