Marriage is a start of a new chapter in life. It is all about companionship and compatibility. Most seniors who lived a happy long marriage say that the secret to a long-lasting marriage is “good communication and love”. However, just like all relationships have ups and downs, marriage does too. Sometimes things get worse.
You feel distant from your partner because he is giving you the silent treatment. You no longer feel loved by them because they are cold. It is hard because your husband is also ignoring you in ways. He shuts himself away in your bedroom, he spends more time in the office or maybe he spends a lot of his time at home playing video games.
Being ignored by the one person you truly love is hurtful. You feel neglected and upset. Even though you believe your marriage is falling apart, there might still be a chance to fix things and go back to normal life.
Reasons Why My Husband Ignores Me:
Although, ignoring is a big red flag, there are some reasonable causes why your husband is ignoring you. So, if you want to try your level best to sort things out with him but are clueless about why your husband is ignoring you. Then below are the possible causes why your husband is ignoring you.
#1 He needs some personal space
The most common reason is that you are not giving him the personal space he is asking for. He might not be straightforward or directly asking for some space. He does not want to hurt your feelings. Most men lowkey distance away when they need personal space. Try to understand his actions and give him ample personal space.
It is true, marriage is all about companionship. But at times a person needs to figure things out on their own. They need their personal space to feel relaxed and energized. There is nothing wrong with wanting some personal space in marriage.
#2 He is stressed or depressed
If your husband is stressed about work or any other matter in his life. Then his brain is preoccupied with the stress, and he ignores you. Or he might be dealing with mental illness (depression, anxiety, ADHD, etc.).
As much as it hurts to not be the first person he reaches out to, remember people deal with mental illnesses and stress in different ways.
Some people talk about their feelings upright, some ignore people around, and some ignore so they do not worry about their loved ones. To help him through the stressed time, you could do stress relief exercises with them. If the exercises are of no use, then it is best to consult a therapist or seek professional medical help for the mental illness.
#3 You might be the reason
You may not see it, but you could be the reason he is ignoring you. If he just began ignoring you then his reason is most likely not you. But if this has been going on and off for a while then you might be the reason.
Every couple argues. However, if you do not reason with him or do not listen to his side then it might be the reason, he is ignoring you. He feels like his opinions and feelings do not matter to you. You need to show your husband and reassure him that his feelings do in fact matter to you. Listen to his views and side of the story when arguing and take time to reason with him.
Sometimes it is the continuous nagging that makes your husband ignore you. Such as putting down the toilet seat, the clothes on the floor, dirty dishes on the side table, and feet on the couch. So, try to talk it out politely and set some ground rules about the things you often nag about him.
The resentment builds up and causes him to ignore you because he is expecting nothing from you. So, revisit your recent arguments and analyze your actions. It is possible you could be at fault, which could jeopardize your marriage, especially if you keep up with such behavior.
#4 There are some Intimacy problems
If your husband is ignoring your sexual needs and goes to the bedroom just to fall asleep. Then this is a major red flag since men show love and affection in a sexual manner.
In most cases, the reason is that he is cheating on you. Although do not freak out. In some cases, whatever the initial reason was when he began ignoring is not fully resolved in his opinion, so he is still stuck on it. In other cases, the husband is seeking new intimate things and is bored in bed. Or it could be that you might be neglecting your partner’s sexual needs that have left him frustrated, and he has distanced himself from you.
However, if you fully believe you did all you could; helped him solve his issues and even tried to spice things up in bed. Yet he still ignores you, then it is not a bad idea to initiate the cheating conversation. It is best to clear any doubts in your head than to assume the worst and cause more problems. More problems are the last thing you both need and unnecessary.
#5 He is going through a financial crisis
Dealing with a financial crisis is tough. Especially if your husband is the sole livelihood provider of the house. You and your family depend on him to provide you with the necessities. If your husband is going through a financial crisis then there is a high chance that he is ignoring you.
He might be neglecting you because he is under the pressure of being the only moneymaker of the house. He is worried about you, the family, and the future. He may not intend to give you the silent treatment, but it is understandable in this scenario.
Try to help him through the financial crisis. Look for some temporary job nearby in local grocery stores, if you have an undergrad degree then you may offer tutorship. Apply for some online home-based jobs or in some offices. Dividing some of the job responsibilities will take some stress off his shoulders. If you already have a job, then try to cut down on unnecessary expenses and offer to support him through your finances. After all, marriage is like a partnership.
#6 He is frustrated or angry
Anger and frustration result in ignoring. This is because there is no outlet for emotions. Emotions and thoughts are all bottled up inside an individual’s head. Which makes an individual think unclear, so they make stupid decisions.
Although anger and frustration is not a reasonable excuse to ignore, it is common. If you and your husband had a recent argument, or you smothered him then your husband could be angry at you. Make him sit down and ask him to talk through with you. Tell him to explain his side and try not to get each other’s points across. Listen to him and tell him how valid his feelings are.
If you have done nothing to anger him or cause any frustration, then there are some other factors causing him to get mad. Try to find out if he is having any trouble at work, or if he is dealing with parental problems or issues with his friends. Most men are bad with communication, so give him a chance to explain himself. If he fails to do so, then initiate a conversation and explain to him that it is unfair to neglect you as it endures your pain. Then try to help him with his issues. Your husband needs to know you are always on his side.
#7 He is busy or over-occupied by work
Sometimes there is nothing complicated. Your husband may actually be busy or over-occupied by his work. A tough 5 to 9 routine exhausts everyone. He comes home and goes straight to bed without spending time with you. He does this because he is tired of working over hours.
His intentions are not to ignore you or make you feel any less important in his life. He is just exhausted and needs some rest. The last you want to do is to add to his plate by acting up. Understand that his jib is important for him, and it pays the bills.
Instead, be supportive and assist him with his everyday chores. If your routine is not packed then wake up early and make breakfast for him, and later at night dinner. When he comes back from the office offer to massage him to release his body stress. Try starting a conversation about his day, so he vents out his thoughts and feels mentally at peace. The best way you can help him is by easing his housework and give him sufficient time to rest.
The bottom line…
Often there is an underlying reason why your husband is ignoring you. It is for the best you figure out what the underlying reason is so you can sort the issue out with him. Which will not only help you save your marriage but also give you peace of mind.
After providing your husband plenty of space, you should initiate a conversation and explain to him how the whole ignoring has made you feel. Ask him politely to let you in. Make sure you are not the main subject of the conversation. Your focus should be the reason why he is ignoring you. Help him through and ask him what you can do to help him further.
Remember that long-lasting marriages are based on good communication!
Feel free to read another article on a similar topic but specifically on why boyfriends ignore girlfriends.
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