You have that chance, that one opportunity staring right at you but you are scared to grab it. Every inch of your mind tells you to go for it but there is that knot in the stomach that holds you back.
HOW TO GET OVER REJECTIONS?
What is it? Well it is the fear! Fear of what? Rejection. As humans, we love to be in our comfort zone. We like being around people who approve of us, who accept us and more than that, who make us feel achieved. We love flouting in our comfort zone. The moment something pushes us out of it, the true challenge comes.
Ever since our early childhood, we have existed among people who love us unconditionally. When we step into practical life, it takes us quite some time to adjust to the flow and absorb the fact that there would be some situations that won’t go into our fever.
Do you know that RSD is a real thing? RSD – Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria is a scientifically recognized term, which identifies people who have an intense emotional response to rejection. Hence in all the connotations, what you feel after a rejection is valid and is recognized.
You may also consider reading our 10 step guide that aids in dealing with rejections too.
But how to handle it? How to make it hurt a little less?
These questions can only be answered if you recognize that there is no one-fit-for-all formula. Rejections vary along the spectrum. There are different kinds, different intensities, and hence different coping mechanisms.
Here we have divided them into three quite broad categories. Their terminologies basically address every aspect of our life. We will talk about how to handle yourself when you come across a no – in personal, emotional and professional space. We would help you recognize it and then an ideal way to deal with the rejections when you finally encounter them.
The silent, the unspoken:
Did it ever happen that there was someone who was very close to you, you used to share every moment in life, and you used to have fun with them? Gradually you feel like you are catching feelings for them and then one day, you muster the courage, go to their face, and just say it.
They don’t give a verbal reaction. They might just respond in a mixed gesture. But all of a sudden, they slowly start drifting away. They are no longer that happy and jolly around you. They don’t pick your calls like before. They do not respond to your texts anymore. That is the silent rejection.
Maybe they are just too scared to lose you as a friend to be upfront and rude. But this sudden change in their behavior leaves you hanging. It makes you feel worse. You feel lonely, ostracized, unloved and rejected. The best way to handle this situation is to spend time around people who love you. Catch up on an old friend. Reply to the texts sitting in your inbox. Connect. It might take some time to fill the void left by them. But the time heals everything. You would be over it soon.
The flat-out, blunt rejection:
We are telling you. This one feels the worst. It can leave your self-esteem crushed in seconds. Not only are you standing there lonely and feeling rejected, but you also cannot help but recall their words.
The bitterness, the delivery, the words in the flat-out blunt rejection might become a trigger in the future. But here it is: If you have faced it, it means the other person respects you enough to give you closure.
The closure is the key to moving on. Leaving it open-ended means leaving you hanging as an option. Respect yourself enough to value closure. It is a bitter yet the most beautiful form of honesty. Or else, you would be tuning in every single day, telling yourself to hold on and draining yourself more. A flat-out rejection might sound harsh and uncaring, but it is a blessing. Feeling ignored is even worse. It sets the tone clear for you.
It’s all about the perspective. Take this opportunity to meet new people. Accept those who are willing to accept you – wholly and unapologetically. You deserve a companionship that is honest, pure and compassionate. And eventually, you will find it.
The nice, sweet ‘we regret to inform you…’ rejection:
This can be nicely worded, sweet and mild, but it can hurt the deepest. Such rejections often come from companies, job interview and social circles.
Being rejected by a company that you craved to be a part of or being excluded from a friend’s circle you wanted to hangout can hurt just as bad as any romantic rejection. It can leave you feeling worthless. Thoughts like ‘am I not good enough’ might take over your mind.
But here’s a thing: in most cases, a nicely-worded apology means it can be a chance to try again. If your job rejection e-mail mentions ‘why’ you could not secure the job, it is a golden opportunity for you. Working on that particular front would save you from future rejections.
Detect what needs to be improved. Work on that particular thing so that you do not need to encounter a similar situation for that one thing in the future ever again. This kind, soft and elaborative rejection is actually a blessing in disguise. Try to speak to them for a nice closure. Make an effort to know what went wrong and this is exactly how you would be able to beat your shortcomings.
Rejection means that you tried something that was challenging, that was way out of your league but despite the fear, you went for it. It is a feat on its own. The best way to deal with rejections is to keep encountering it. Keep challenging yourself.
Keep pushing yourself out of the comfort zone. You can only win over rejection if you come across it often. Not only will it be a learning curve, but coming across it frequently would lessen the fear as well.
You are stronger than this. Hold in there!
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