No, your date has not been in the bathroom for way too long because they have diarrhea. Let’s be honest, it’s just one of those not-so-fine moments where you’ve accidentally said the wrong thing, and hence your date has excused themselves and bailed!
If you notice that happening quite frequently with your dates then you’re probably spending a lot of time talking about things that are usually a huge turnoff. To help you, here are a few topics you need to steer clear of if you want that second date!
- Eliminate the exes!
Most people who jump back into the dating pool right after a breakup fail to realize this but talking about how bad John was at giving you attention or how Karen would not stop talking to her guy friends while being in a relationship is a major NO-NO! It’s not only a huge turn-off but your date will also automatically assume that you’re still not over your ex.
It’s equally important to make sure you’re not asking them questions about their past relationships. While their past love life might be an important topic to discuss later on, initially you should only be focused on building your bond with them. Plus no one wants to be reminded of a messy breakup as it’ll just ruin the mood!
- Own yourself and be confident!
“Sorry if I don’t look the best right now, all my really good outfits were in the laundry!”
“I know I look like I’ve put on a few extra pounds but I’m working on it!”
“Ugh sorry I’ve got a pimple; I’ve been kind of stressed lately…”
Stop it right there and own your persona! Constantly coming off as insecure and needing reassurance is not only a major turn off for most people but also seems a little needy. You should not need validation from your date to feel amazing about yourself.
On the other hand, if they make offensive comments about your appearance, the way you speak, etc. then kiss them goodbye as you don’t need that negativity in your life!
- Don’t get too cocky though!
There’s nothing sexy about a person who’s too full of themselves and only interested in showing off their wealth, certain personality traits and looks. There is a very fine line between being confident and too cocky that’s fairly easy to cross, so try and find a good balance between humility and confidence!
You also need to make sure that you’re not spending the entire time talking about yourself. Remember to engage in a balanced conversation where you’re sharing your stories but not over-doing it. Give your date a chance to speak and really pay attention, to get to know them! After all, that’s the whole point of dating, isn’t it?
- Religion and politics anyone? No, thank you!
Anyone passionate about religion and politics knows that they can lead to some very heated debates. There are so many differing opinions surrounding these topics that they usually turn the atmosphere very passive-aggressive, even after you’ve put your two cents in!
However, we know that these are usually some of the core values people consider while looking for a partner so instead of wasting all your energy in these debates on the first date, just save it for a later time! On a more positive note, if you know beforehand that the two of you miraculously share the same faith or ideas, feel free to spend some time bonding over that.
- Let the money stay in the wallets!
Under no circumstances, should you ask how much money a person makes on the first date. That will only come off as rude, impolite, and make you seem shallow! Money is a sensitive topic for those who don’t have it and for those who do. Either people will think that’s all you’re looking for in the relationship or be embarrassed to talk about it.
Instead, ask about what job they have, and would like to have, etc. Not only will you not have to worry about offending your date that way, but you’ll have an interesting conversation where you learn about their passions.
- Bag that drama!
Try to bring your best self to the date and leave negative Nancy at home! Remember it’s your first and while first impressions don’t always last, on dates they do tend to determine if you get a second one or not! So shove any ongoing family drama, work problems, etc under the rug until you’re a few dates in. You don’t need to portray the image of a perfect life, of course, just be careful to treat it like a date and not a therapy session.
- Don’t talk about people they don’t know
While everyone likes a good sip of gossip now and then, anything that’s about people who don’t concern them is not interesting!!! So don’t go on talking about how certain people from work have a love triangle going on or how a friend of yours has a traumatic family history. It’s more than okay to share fun stories about them but remember to keep them brief!
- Lock the attitude away!
One of the best ways to judge a person’s character is by how they behave with others around them, for example, the staff in a restaurant. So be on your best behavior and show genuine kindness towards people if you want to impress your date.
- The marriage talk can wait!
There is no need to scare your date off with all of your plans for the 3 kids you want to have! It’s okay to have a brief conversation about it if the topic comes up but under no circumstance should you pull out your book of wedding plans and potential kids’ names! To avoid pushing your date away, it’s also probably a smart idea to refrain from asking the person questions like, “So where do you see this relationship headed about 5 years from now?”
- You do not need to know their sexual history just yet!
Nobody wants to neither pull out a list of their past sexual relations nor answer questions about their virginity on a first date! If you have a little bit of common sense and self-respect, you’ll understand that knowing the person for only a few minutes/hours gives you no right to ask those questions either. Additionally, don’t ask them if they’re seeing other people at the time; your relationship is not yet exclusive!
- “So what do you want to talk about?”
We all have those moments on dates when a conversation dies down and an awkward silence fills the air. As tempting as it may seem, do not fill it with something like, “So, what else do you want to talk about?”
Phrases like that give off the vibe that you’re bored and would much rather be doing something else at that moment. Instead, tell a joke or compliment them if you haven’t already, or just bring up a movie that you’ve seen recently. Make your date feel like you want to be there and are interested in spending time with them!
- Put that phone away!
You’re on a date to spend time with the other person; NOT to check your phone every few minutes or attend 20-minute phone calls! It is plain rude, unnerving, and will make your date want to run for the hills. Again, be considerate of the fact that someone gave up time from their day to go out with you, so you need to make it worth their while!
- Don’t be a mama’s boy
While talking about your family and sharing funny stories about them is cute now and then, do not drone on about how your mother did your laundry then picked out clothes for your date! While some people might find it cute that your mom picked your tie for the night, most people want to be with someone who is relatively independent, can make their own decisions, and won’t need their mom’s approval for most things.
- Let little Nancy Drew stay a secret!
It’s perfectly normal to do a little internet stalking before your date but do they really need to know about it? Chances are if you bring up the girl you saw them with at their Uncle Jim’s 50th birthday party, you’re only going to come off as creepy!
I don’t know about you but most people like to be in control of how their stories get told to others, especially their dates, and will probably be uncomfortable at the thought of you scrolling through their distant relative’s Facebook page at 3 am!
Now that you’ve got some expert advice under your belt, have fun and give your date night filled with conversations they won’t forget (in a good way of course)!
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