Asides the food, a good conversation sets a date in the right direction. While the right conversation can bring you two together, the wrong ones will leave you feeling more distant than ever, no matter how well you thought the date was going before.
While out on a first date, one topic you want to avoid is anything related to religion especially when you know your partner holds a different view. You also don’t want to discuss sex and your ex on a first date. Instead, make it a lively outing and talk about soul lifting conversations like, movies, travel experience etc.
Some things are best left unsaid on a first date, in this article, we will be talking about things you should never talk about on a first date.
14 Things You Should Not Talk About on A First Date
A first date is not the place to bring up controversial topics or personal problems, which can lead to an argument and ruin your chances of seeing each other again.
Here are 14 things you should never talk about on a first date:
1. Politics
Politics is one of the most divisive topics out there, so don’t get into it unless absolutely necessary. If you want to find out where your date stands on a particular issue, wait until you’re more comfortable with him or her.
This one is especially tricky because the topic of politics can come up naturally in conversation.
However, it’s best not to make any strong statements about political views or candidates until at least some time has passed and you know each other better.
2. Religion
Similar to politics, religion is a sensitive topic you shouldn’t discuss on a first date. Doing so can cause arguments even when you both have a lot in common.
It can be tempting to bring up religion when discussing a movie or book but wait until you know more about your date’s beliefs before weighing in with yours.
3. S£x life
A first date isn’t the place to talk about that unless asked directly by your date (and even then, tread carefully).
This includes sexual preferences and past relationships; save those stories for another time or another person.
4. Money
Money is one of the most taboo topics in any relationship, but it’s especially so on a first date. Money isn’t something that should be brought up on a first outing, because it can be a deal breaker for some people.
Even if you’re not talking about how much you make or how much your date makes, money will inevitably come up at some point, which is why it’s important to know how to talk about your finances on a first date.
5. Your exes
No one wants to hear about your former relationships, especially if they were bad ones. If you want to share that kind of information, wait until you’ve been dating for a while and the relationship is more serious.
6. Your health problems
This is a big one. Do you know how you always hear about people who have to tell their date that they have an incurable disease (or something else) the first time they meet?
Don’t be that person. Save it for later, or just don’t mention it at all. You never know what kind of effect this will have on someone, and it’s better not to find out with a new person.
7. All of your fears & worries
This includes money problems, family issues, and work problems. If something is really bothering you right now.
It can make for an interesting conversation topic in the future, but only when there’s more of a connection between the two of you, and when it’s not the first date.
8. Marriage
If you’re looking for someone serious, then yes, you probably should talk about it. But if you’re just getting to know someone, or if you’re on a casual date with someone who might be more of an “in-the-moment” type of person, then don’t bring up marriage on your first date.
A first date is not the time or place to discuss anything that could be seen as serious, especially when it comes to such a big commitment like marriage.
You don’t want to scare anyone off by talking about marriage during a casual first-date conversation; this just leaves them with the impression that they need to impress YOU with their ability to commit right away, which could lead them into trying too hard.
9. Family background
Don’t talk about your family background on a first date. You don’t want to give off the impression that you’re looking for a partner who can help support your family, or that you’re not prepared to take care of yourself.
You might be able to get away with mentioning something like “my mom is so funny” or “my dad is the best cook,” but beyond that, it’s better not to go there.
10. Secrets
Your darkest secrets, especially if they’re illegal or immoral in any way. For example, don’t tell them about stealing from work or cheating on your taxes unless you want them to think less of you as a person.
11. Drama at work
If you’re on a first date and you find yourself discussing the details of your job, that’s probably a sign that things aren’t going well.
If you’re stuck talking about work, it might be time to call it quits.
You can talk about work in general terms, but if the conversation turns into a long-winded rant about how your boss totally screwed you over or how much money you make, then that’s not good.
12. Your debt
If you’ve ever been on a first date, you know how nerve-wracking it can be. You want to make a good impression, but talking about your debt might not be the best way to do that.
Your debt is an indication of your financial health, while it’s generally a good thing to be debt-free, it doesn’t really send the right message on a first date.”
The same goes for discussing your net worth or salary, both are personal and can come off as bragging if you aren’t careful.
13. Alcohol or drug use
Alcohol and drugs are touchy subjects, especially if you’ve been drinking. If it’s a serious topic for you, then it shouldn’t be discussed on the first date since you want to avoid sounding like a preachy person.
14. Pornography
This topic is a huge turnoff for most women, so it’s best left for later in the relationship. If you want to discuss porn with your partner, wait until you’ve been dating for a while and trust each other enough that you don’t need to censor every word that comes out of your mouth.
What to Talk about on a First Date
On a first date, focus on light and engaging topics to create a comfortable atmosphere. Discuss interests such as hobbies, favorite books or movies, travel experiences, and future aspirations.
Keep the conversation positive, ask open-ended questions, and share some lighthearted anecdotes. Avoid controversial subjects and give each other the opportunity to share personal stories, fostering a connection based on common interests and a relaxed vibe.
Can You Kiss on The First Date?
Yes, you can kiss on the first date, but before you do, make sure that there is a clear understanding between both of you that this isn’t the beginning of a relationship, but instead just a fun experiment.
If you think this person is someone you could see yourself dating in the future, then make sure to talk about it before going for a kiss.
It’s fine to be forward and ask if it’s okay to kiss them at this point in time. If they say yes, then go for it.
If they say no, it doesn’t mean that they’re not interested in being with you, it just means they want to make sure there’s an understanding beforehand that this isn’t going anywhere serious or long-term.
Just remember: You’re not obligated to kiss anyone unless both parties are totally into it.
Can You Fall in Love on The First Date
Yes, you can fall in love on the first date.
You might be wondering how this is possible. After all, it seems like it would be virtually impossible to know someone well enough in one night to fall in love with them.
But you’re wrong, and science agrees. In fact, recent research has shown that falling in love actually takes just three minutes.
So what does that mean for you? Well, if you’re brave enough to make a move on a stranger, then go for it. You could be on your way to finding your soulmate.
However, if you’re not so sure about making the first move and want to take things slower, then consider these tips:
- Make eye contact from across the room and smile warmly at each other.
- Walk over and introduce yourself (shake hands) before sitting down.
- Ask questions about their life and show genuine interest in their answers.
Can You Recover from A Bad First Date?
It’s a valid question to ask whether or not you can recover from a bad first date. But the answer is definitely yes. There are many ways to recover from a bad first date, and it’s all about how you choose to handle the situation.
First, you need to take some time for yourself so that you can think clearly and make good decisions.
Don’t rush into an impulsive decision because of how upset or angry you feel right now. Instead, take some time to relax and calm down before making any decisions about what your next step should be.
Next, think about what went wrong on your first date. What happened? Why did things not go as planned?
Was it something that could have been prevented by either party? If there was something that could have been prevented by either party, then consider talking with them about what happened and trying again in the future if you’d like.
If there wasn’t anything that could’ve been prevented by either party or if there were too many issues with the date itself, then consider moving on from this person and finding someone else who would be better suited for what you’re looking for in a mate.
Conclusion
Obviously, what to talk about on a first date is something that depends heavily on the individual.
But these fourteen topics are either too controversial or otherwise inappropriate to discuss on a first date, and so should be avoided at all costs (or at least until you’ve gotten to know someone better).
The last thing you want on a first date is awkward silence.
