Suddenly receiving a text from an ex after months or even years of no contact can be awkward, especially if you have moved on and are dating someone else. An unexpected text from your ex will make you wonder why they texted you and most importantly what they want.
Meanwhile, if you are already dating someone else, you would battle with deciding whether or not to tell your current partner your ex contacted you. Recently, on a dating advice site, I came across the question “Should I tell my boyfriend my ex texted me? Well, let’s find out.
Yes, you should tell your boyfriend if your ex texted you. Communication is essential in every healthy relationship, thus If you and your current partner tell each other everything, then It may seem like a breach of trust if you don’t tell him you received a text from your ex.
Aside from that, your partner will be uncomfortable and even upset, if he finds out himself that you have been in contact with your ex. So it is better to be upfront and honest by telling your boyfriend if your ex texted or called you.
Also, if your ex was being flirty in the text he sent you, by not disclosing the text to your boyfriend, you risk appearing like you’re hiding something from him, so it is better for him yourself.
Meanwhile, are you still doubting whether you should tell your boyfriend your ex texted you or not? Well, below are reasons to help you make the right decision.
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Reasons Why You Should Tell Your Boyfriend Your Ex Texted You
1. Communication and honesty are key to every healthy relationship
Communication is important to sustain a healthy relationship, being open and telling your boyfriend everything (like when your ex texted you) will help you maintain an open, tension-free, and long-lasting relationship.
What this means is that by being honest and not holding anything back from your partner you create a smooth flow of communication.
Aside from that, being open makes it easy to resolve all conflicts and issues that might arise from your ex contacting you. You will feel more at ease when you tell your boyfriend about the text your ex sent you. So, to improve your communication and prevent any doubt/crises with your boyfriend, it is best to tell your boyfriend when your ex texts or calls you.
2. Let him hear it from you
Another reason to tell your boyfriend your ex texted you are to prevent him from hearing it from somewhere else. Not hearing it from you might seem like you are hiding something from him, you wouldn’t want him to think that. Aside from that, your boyfriend will get upset and uncomfortable that you hid it from him, especially if you normally had no communication boundaries.
3. Out of respect for your boyfriend
Respect is essential in every relationship. It is one of the core factors that build up a healthy and long-lasting relationship. If you suddenly receive an unexpected text from your ex after not being in touch for a while, it is imperative to communicate it to your boyfriend.
There is nothing wrong with telling your boyfriend your ex texted you, you have nothing to lose, but hiding it might make you appear untrustworthy. By telling your boyfriend about the text message, it proves that you respect him and have considered how he will feel when he finds out himself.
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4. Your boyfriend wouldn’t doubt you
It is common knowledge that exes still care about each other even if they are no longer together, your boyfriend will likely get jealous when he finds out your ex texted you and even more upset when you hid it from him.
Of course, he is likely to doubt your reason for hiding it from him, he might have thoughts like if you still care about your ex or even if you liked the text (if your ex was being flirtatious in the text he sent you).
Telling your boyfriend when your ex texted you will reduce his tendency of getting jealous or even doubting you. Being in an open relationship with your partner will help prevent any mistrust.
5. You will trust each other more
Telling your partner when your ex texted or called you will increase the trust in your relationship. Even though your boyfriend might be uncomfortable that your ex texted you, he will appreciate that you told him and acknowledge that you were open with him. This will help heighten the trust in your relationship.
6. He has the right to know
As your boyfriend, he has the right to know about things going on in your life. You both are in a relationship because you love and trust each other, so why hide things from him, right? If you receive a flirtatious or provoking text from your ex, your boyfriend has the right to be aware of it. Disclosing it to your boyfriend is the right thing to do, no matter how you view the situation.
7. Increase the bond you share
Another reason to disclose to your boyfriend that your ex texted you is to increase the bond in your relationship. It is no hidden fact that being honest and open to your partner will help increase the bond you share. Trust is the foundation of every long-lasting and healthy relationship, disclosing to your boyfriend matters related to your ex will help build trust in your relationship and increase the bond you share.
8. If the text might cause problems in your relationship
If your ex texted you wanting to get back together or saying he wants to be friends and you know it might cause a rift in your current relationship when your partner finds out, it is best to disclose it to your boyfriend. Disclosing it to your boyfriend will prevent the occurrence of any problems in your relationship because of the text.
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How to Tell Your Boyfriend Your Ex Texted You
If you have decided to tell your boyfriend that your ex texted or called you, you must be clear and honest about everything you would say. Tell him everything as it is and I advise you to do that in person and not via call or text.
Also, when telling your boyfriend that your ex texted you, I recommend you do that casually and tell him when he is in a good mood. Your boyfriend will likely get upset and even jealous that your ex is trying to contact you, so calmly telling him and when he is in a good mood might help subdue his reaction.
For instance, you can say something like “I got a text from my ex, he was asking if we can meet, and I said I wasn’t available” Do you see how straightforward and precise the above is? This should give you an idea of how you should tell your boyfriend your ex texted you. Ensure that you don’t spend much time telling him and use a clear voice.
Nonetheless, receiving a text from your ex isn’t a big deal, especially when you both have moved on and the text isn’t going to harm your current relationship. For instance, if your ex texts to check up on you or to invite you to a certain occasion or event, then this should bother you or your boyfriend.
READ ALSO: How Can I See my Boyfriend’s Text Messages Without Him Knowing for Free
What to Do if Your Ex Texted You
When your ex texted you, depending on the context of the text, here is what to do:
1. Text back
If your ex texted you to check up on you, you can text back, especially if your split was amicable and you both decided to remain friends. If you and your ex have both moved on and hold no grudges towards each other, then it is no big deal that he texted you and you can also decide to text him back.
Friends text each other on special days such as birthdays or new year, so there is no reason to make a big deal out of the text if he was just checking up on you.
2. Ignore him
Another thing to do when your ex texts you with flirtatious and provoking words is to ignore him, especially if you are in a new relationship. You should consider how your current partner will feel when he finds out you and your ex are being all flirty towards each other.
3. Ask him to stop texting you
When your ex keeps sending you unwanted texts which can cause problems between you and your boyfriend, I advise that you ask him to stop. It is okay to ask your ex to stop texting or even contacting You, you are under no obligation to tolerate him texting you.
4. Block him
If after ignoring all his attempts to reach you and also your request to stop contacting You, your ex still would stop sending you unsolicited texts then it is best to block him. When you block him, you prevent him from texting or even calling you.
Final Words
Receiving a text from your ex isn’t a big deal, especially if you both have moved on. However, to set things straight and not seem like you are hiding something, it is best to tell your boyfriend your ex texted you.
