Most guys will ask a girl out again if she says no, especially if they are genuinely interested in her. But in case your attempts still fall on deaf ears, there are several ways you can handle rejection. You either accept your fate or try again. Love isn’t always easy.
Sometimes, it requires effort. However, this does not mean you should pester a lady who genuinely doesn’t love you too. So, in case you find yourself in a rejection fix with someone whom you love and you probably may be asking should I ask her out again if she said no?
The simple answer here is yes, give it a second shot. Who knows, you may have a positive answer this time around. So, how do you handle rejection first, and how do you ask her out again the second time? All of these and everything in between is what this post will guide you through.
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Things To Note For Handling The Fear of Rejection
At some point, everyone faces a form of rejection. It could be a failed job interview, an unsuccessful scholarship application or this case, getting rejected after asking a girl out. When you experience rejection, it may have an effect on you. Apart from the initial disappointment, you may feel so crushed that you develop the fear of rejection.
The fear of rejection is your inability to muster up the courage to try something you failed at before. So, you are scared to experience the rejection you felt before. Unfortunately, this fear can keep you from doing things you love to do because it could influence other aspects of your life. If you fear rejection, here are some things to consider:
1. It does not mean you aren’t good enough
When a girl says no to your proposal or interest, it does not necessarily mean you aren’t good enough. She may have thought about it and realized that both of you are not compatible.
You might not notice this. A lady usually carefully considers certain things before she makes her decision. It may be whether or not your life goals align or if your personalities are a good match. So, if she realizes some important criteria are not met, she may turn you down. So, it is not you, it is her.
2. Confidence is attractive
When you approach your crush, you need to have a certain level of self-confidence. It does not mean arrogance because that might be a turn-off.
A lady likes to know that you are confident about what you want and are willing to go for it. Confidence is attractive.
This quality shows that you are also persistent and willing to strive to achieve your goals in life. Whether in your career, personal projects or other circumstances.
So, if you have experienced rejection before, don’t let it weigh down your self-esteem or confidence levels. You don’t want to exude an aura of low confidence or battered self-esteem.
3. Take a moment to reflect
That does not mean you should go and sulk in the corner. After facing rejection, you might want to take some time to think about why you got rejected. It could also help you do things differently in the future.
As a guy, you can take a bold step and ask her why she rejected you. You may be surprised at the reasons. So instead of spending sleepless nights thinking about why she turned you down, ask her why.
Sometimes, a lady’s reason for not being in a relationship with you may be very personal. She may be dealing with trauma, personal or family issues, a nasty breakup or several other reasons.
Her reason for rejecting you may have nothing to do with you. It may have everything to do with where she is at that point in her life. She may not even be ready for a relationship, though you seem perfect for her.
READ MORE: How to Increase a Girl’s Interest Level
How To Handle Rejection From A Lady
This section is not supposed to dictate your reactions but to offer you a guide after facing rejection from your crush. Your feelings and emotions are valid. So you may not be able to control how you feel, but you can control what you do about it.
Most guys tend to downplay a rejection by cracking a joke or laughing to make the situation less awkward. Does this sound like something you might do?
Everyone has their defence mechanism for coping with disappointment. Here are some things you should consider before you react.
1. Don’t become an enemy
When a girl turns you down, it does not mean you cannot remain friends with her. You might even find that you will get along better as friends rather than as something more.
However, if she insults you or makes a spectacle of you afterwards, you should create some distance.
Consider your well-being and bruised ego. Seeing your crush or pursuing your interest further will only lead to more embarrassing circumstances.
2. Don’t give up on love
If you ask her out and she says no, your instinct may want you to retreat into a shell or self-loathing. Please don’t do this.
Some girls might turn you down due to surprise but later consider you a romantic prospect because you become more noticeable in their eyes.
That can take time if it does happen. So, don’t base your hopes on the possibility. Your crush may not be the type to change her mind.
However, you can stay observant to pick up on any signs that she may start to show interest in being with you. If this happens, you can go ahead to ask her out politely one more time.
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3. Focus on other things
You don’t want the things you hold dear to you to suffer because you experienced rejection.
You can take some private time to cry or be sad if you must, but you have to bounce back.
Focus your attention on your hobbies, self-improvement, learning a new skill or finally starting on that business plan.
You would be surprised at the things that could come out of heartbreak. When your attention is on other things, it will reduce the time you spend thinking about the situation.
4. Move on
If your crush never changes her mind about you, know you need to move on. It may not be easy initially, but it will eventually happen.
You should move on and let go of your feelings. That way, you won’t seem like a pest to her. That is a sure way to lose her respect for you.
When you move on, you may fall in love with someone that also returns your feelings. After all, love is better reciprocated than for it to be one-sided.
Some people may think their love alone is sufficient to maintain a relationship. However, it is not the truth.
Your unwilling partner may eventually find someone they like. That leads to inevitable cheating and heartbreak.
How Long Should You Wait Before You Ask Her Out Again?
A group of guys shared their opinion on how long they would wait before they ask a girl out again after a rejection.
Thirty per cent said they would not bother trying again, while seventy per cent said they would try again.
The seventy per cent mentioned that they would make a second attempt after observing her behaviour towards him. The observation period ranged from a few days to several weeks.
Some of the guys felt that showing they were still interested might sway the lady to accept their feelings. The other guys said that ladies rarely change their minds, so they will not bother with another attempt.
However, all the guys said they would only ask a lady out if they felt she might reciprocate their feelings. Although, that is not always the case.
READ MORE: How Many Times Should You Ask a Girl Out Before Giving Up?
What Do Ladies Have To Say About A Guy Asking Them Out Again?
Guys often complain that they don’t know what a lady wants. The fact is that you can’t know what every woman wants. You need to learn what the lady you’re interested in actually wants.
1. He must be intentional
A lady wants a guy who is intentional and genuine about his feelings for her. She may accept your second attempt at asking her out if you are honest about your feelings.
Sometimes, a lady may not take a guy seriously when he first asks her out. That is why you need to be intentional about the way you ask her out.
Let her know that you are interested in a relationship with her. If you approach her and say you want to hang out, she may think you’re only interested in friendship and nothing more.
2. He must be sensitive
When you pay attention to a lady you are interested in, you will eventually figure out how to approach her.
Ladies pay attention to details. So, they expect the guy who asks them out should pay attention to her.
It does not necessarily mean that you should always be in her space. You need to set aside a portion of your time for her.
Conclusion
The journey of love is not always easy. This article will help you answer the question, should I ask her out again if she said no? Be sure to pay attention to signs that a lady is already in a relationship or she is genuinely not interested in you. So, you should know when to move on. Good luck with finding love.
