Nothing sucks as not getting the attention of the man you love. Oftentimes, when a woman gets desperate to get the attention of her boyfriend, she makes impulsive decisions, one of which is using someone else to make him jealous.
If a woman you have been trying to win over is suddenly interested in you, hangs out with you, and gives you the attention you literally have to “beg” her for, then something might be off. You would begin to ask yourself questions like “Is she using me to make her boyfriend jealous?”
Trying to figure out if she is using you to make her boyfriend jealous can be a bit tricky, especially when you have feelings for her. However, she can’t cover up her tracks entirely, giving off signs like being flirtatious towards you when together with her boyfriend or his friends could indicate she’s using you.
Also, when she’s all sweet to you some days and goes all out to show that she loves you in public and then on other days completely ignores you. This can be an indicator she is using you to make her boyfriend jealous.
Even if she can be convincing with her act of fooling You, several signs may help you figure out what she’s up to. Read on as I unveil signs that she is using you to get her partner jealous.
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Signs She Is Using You To Make Her Boyfriend Jealous
Here are some indications that she is only using you to make her boyfriend jealous:
1. She only gets close when together with her boyfriend.
As I mentioned above, when you notice she gets all flirtatious towards you when together with her boyfriend then she might be using you to make him jealous.
This is the most evident reason some women do, to make their men jealous, either to get their attention or just for fun.
Also, she gets touchy with you when around her boyfriend. Touching is another form of flirting that can get a man jealous. You might have noticed that she hugs you affectionately, holds your hands softly, or even kisses you on the cheek when she is around her boyfriend. If these are things she has never done before or she doesn’t do when you are alone, then she’s probably using you to make her boyfriend jealous.
2. She suddenly posts pictures of you two on her social media pages.
Another possible sign a girl is using you to make her boyfriend jealous is when she suddenly posts your pictures on her social media accounts such as Facebook or Instagram (even when it isn’t your birthday or you aren’t celebrating anything). Her boyfriend will inevitably see those pictures, so she possibly did it intending to get him jealous.
3. She avoids any serious conversations with you.
She doesn’t engage in any meaningful conversations when you are alone. Also, she avoids talking about her family, friends, or her feelings towards you. She might even shut you down when you persist in having serious talks.
Naturally, when she’s all clingy with you, you’d believe you had a thing, thus try to get to know her better. But it is a red flag that she’s using you when she avoids having conversations with you when you are alone.
4. She’s cold when you are alone.
Also, she might just be using you to get the attention of her boyfriend when you notice the charisma and energy wherein she talks to you when together with her boyfriend diminishes or fades when he isn’t there. She would talk to you casually, compared to when in the company of her boyfriend.
5. She calls you endearing names around him.
Calling you with endearing names such as sweetheart or darling will make her boyfriend wonder what’s going on. This will make him jealous and suspect something might be going on between you two.
Her boyfriend might even throw a fist (this is what she wants, “attention”). So, if you notice that she uses endearing names on you only when around her boyfriend, then she might just be using you. Sure, it is bad to use people to make someone jealous, but it is what it is.
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6. When her boyfriend confronts you.
When did her boyfriend ask you questions like ” Is there something going on between you and my girlfriend? “Then that’s a sign. He has probably been more attentive to his girlfriend’s attitude towards you and began to think that something might be up.
If her boyfriend confronts you, it is usually because he is uncomfortable with how she flaunts herself on you (of course, he’d notice, remember, she does it around him). So, she might be using you to make her boyfriend jealous if her boyfriend is suddenly uncomfortable with your presence around her.
7. When you hear from a mutual friend.
If she is using you to make her boyfriend jealous, then she would probably mention it to a couple of friends. So, it might be true, if a mutual friend tells you she’s just using you to make her boyfriend jealous. Do not shrug them away, but watch out for the signs yourself.
8. She texts you only when her boyfriend is around.
Another possible sign she is using you to make her boyfriend jealous is when she tends to chat you up whenever she’s together with her boyfriend. For instance, when she texts or even calls you late at night. As trivial as texting or calling you might sound, it can make him jealous.
9. She makes no effort to get to know you.
If she likes you or is interested in you as she portrays to the world then she would make efforts to get to know you and bond together with you. But if she always makes excuses not to be around you alone and she makes no effort to get to know you, then she might just be using you to make her boyfriend jealous.
10. She doesn’t listen to you.
If she is your friend or someone who you like, then you would probably be comfortable discussing certain issues with her. But, what if she’s not paying attention when you are talking?
Someone who is really into you will give you her undiluted attention when speaking, they’d listen with a clear head, offer you advice and even celebrate your wins. But if she has been using you to make her boyfriend jealous, then she wouldn’t care about all you have to say.
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What To Do When You Find Out She Is Using You To Make Her Boyfriend Jealous
It can be disheartening to realize you are being used by someone you care about. Here’s what to do:
1. Allow yourself to feel hurt
The feeling of being used is hurtful, no matter the situation. So, allow yourself to feel sad, hurt, and even angry. Suppressing those feelings will only make you keep feeling bad about yourself. So, instead of repressing it, let them all out, and embrace your emotions.
2. Know your worth
You are worth more than allowing others to take advantage of you just because you are friends. If your friend is using you to make her boyfriend jealous and you aren’t comfortable with it, then stop her. If she cares and values you as a person, then she wouldn’t use you to make her partner jealous.
3. Be direct
Do not allow her to use you any further. Talk to her about it and be direct in your conversation. Tell her that you notice that she acts differently towards you when she is together with her boyfriend or even in public.
Also, state clearly that she should desist from using you to make her boyfriend jealous. Be firm with your request and don’t allow her to give you excuses or justify her actions behind using you to make her boyfriend jealous.
4. Give her space
If after telling her to stop using you to make her boyfriend jealous she still wouldn’t heed, then it is best to create distance between you two. Avoid hanging out where she and her boyfriend will likely be, and disregard her texts/ calls.
Also, you can decide to get involved in activities that would keep you busy. Yes, you don’t have to cut her off completely from your life, you can still keep in touch but keep it casual and ensure you don’t allow yourself to be used again.
5. Set healthy boundaries
To avoid getting used again, ensure to set healthy boundaries in your relationship with people going further. If you notice that anyone is overstepping the boundaries you set for yourself, then talk to them calmly, say no, and speak up whenever you are uncomfortable with people’s actions.
Conclusion
Finding out a woman you like or care about is just using you to make her boyfriend jealous can be painful. The thought of being used can be devastating, avoid blaming yourself for it and embrace your emotions. Meanwhile, ensure to work on yourself and do not get into such a situation again.
