In every relationship, when both parties involved have reached a certain level of familiarity and comfort around each other, normally, they would want to share intimate moments such as bathing together.
Showering together with your significant other is among the intimate moments that have been proven to strengthen the bond in a relationship. However, some people are not interested in showering with their partners. I was asked recently via email “Why does my boyfriend not want to shower with me?“
Your boyfriend might not want to shower with you because he is self-conscious about his body. Some men are usually insecure about how their stomach (abs) or even manhood looks. If this is the case, your boyfriend probably has low self-esteem and thinks you might judge or even criticize a certain part of his body when you shower together.
Being self-conscious about one’s body is the most logical reason why your boyfriend might not want to shower together. But aside from that, there are other answers to “why does my boyfriend not want to shower with me?”, which we shall discuss further in this article. Read on.
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7 Reasons Your Boyfriend May Not Want To Shower With You
Your boyfriend not wanting to shower together could be all kinds of reasons. Here are some possible reasons your boyfriend doesn’t want to shower together;
1. He wants some privacy
Even though showering together is said to increase the bond in your relationship, your boyfriend might prefer showering alone. Showering can be a relaxing moment and some people might not like the idea of sharing it with someone.
Your boyfriend might be the type of person that reflects on the day’s activities and even make plans while taking shower, taking the shower with you might get him distracted. So, the reason why your boyfriend doesn’t want to shower with you may be because he wants the space all to himself.
2. He masturbates
Masturbation can be extremely addictive and people addicted to masturbating tend to carry it out when showering. So, if your boyfriend masturbates, he would not be interested in showering together.
What I mean is, that some men masturbate in the shower, and if this is the reason your boyfriend doesn’t want to shower together then you should let him be but if his masturbation is affecting your relationship it is crucial to have a heart-to-heart conversation, make compromises, seek counselling, among other activities that will help your union.
3. His bathing routine is different from yours
Another possible answer to ” why does my boyfriend not want to shower with me?” might be that you both have a different bathing routine. Everyone has their specific bathing routine some prefer showering in the morning while others prefer the evening.
Also, he might like the water temperature different from what you prefer. For instance, he might prefer bathing in cold water temperatures, while you prefer warm temperatures. If you and your partner have a different bathing routine it might be difficult to adjust. So your boyfriend might prefer to shower alone.
4. He thinks it’s weird
Some people are not comfortable showering in the company of another person. Your boyfriend might have grown up with the idea that showering is an “alone time”, so the idea of showering together with another person might seem weird and even makes him feel uncomfortable. So, a possible reason why your boyfriend doesn’t want to shower with you might be because he thinks it’s weird and uncalled for.
5. He spends shorter or longer time in the shower
No matter how clichè this might sound when your boyfriend spends lesser time when showering compared to you, he might decide to shower alone. This might be the reason your boyfriend doesn’t want to shower together.
6. He might get aroused being together with you in the shower
It is unavoidable that your boyfriend could get aroused when together with you in the shower and the situation might turn into some sort of erotic scene. He might not like the idea of getting laid in the shower, so he wouldn’t want to shower together with you.
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7. He may feel shy using the toilet
Your boyfriend might like to urinate or even excrete before showering, he might feel uncomfortable doing that when you are there. Hence, he might prefer to shower alone, ao he can comfortably do all that.
Above are some of the reasons your boyfriend might not want to shower with you. Your boyfriend might have his specific reasons, you shouldn’t overthink it and ask him. Having a heart-to-heart conversation with your boyfriend might be all it takes to get all your answers.
What To Do When Your Partner Doesn’t Want to Shower With You
If you are bothered by the fact that your boyfriend doesn’t want to shower with you, here’s what to do;
1. Have a calm conversation with him
Communication is one of the vital things that help build a strong and healthy relationship. If you want to bathe together with your boyfriend but he always gives you excuses, then the best thing to do is to have a calm conversation with him.
Ask him his reasons and listen attentively (ensure to do away with every distraction). Your boyfriend might disclose his reasons when you have a calm conversation, you can also show him that you are willing to understand him.
2. Don’t judge him
If after having a heart-to-heart conversation with your boyfriend you found out that he is not comfortable showering with you because he is body conscious. At this point, you should be willing to support and help him improve his self-esteem.
Avoid using his weakness against him, you can help him improve his self-esteem. You can achieve this by occasionally complementing the part of his body you know he is insecure of. For instance, if he feels insecure about his Abs, you occasionally tell him you like how his stomach looks. Be careful though not to sound unnatural because he might think you’re just saying it to make him feel better.
Also, if the reason why your boyfriend doesn’t want to shower with you is that he masturbates, then ensure you don’t judge him. But if it’s affecting your relationship, you can decide to get counselling and help him get over it.
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3. Make compromises
Another thing you can do if you want to shower with your boyfriend but you both have different bathing routines is to make compromises. For instance, if your boyfriend prefers bathing with hot-warm water while you prefer cold water, you can have a conversation and decide to both adjust to lukewarm water.
You and your boyfriend can also decide to adjust your bathing time to a more convenient time wherein you both can spend time together showering.
4. Let him be
If your boyfriend insists he doesn’t feel comfortable showering with you or finds the idea of bathing together weird, then you shouldn’t pressurize him. Instead, let him be. The shower might be the place where he reflects on things or even makes plans, so being in there with him might be a distraction. Simply let him be, there are different ways to bond with him aside from showering together, so find what works for you both and stick to it.
Is It Good To Shower Together With My Partner?
Yes, showering together with your partner is a good way to bond and get closer to your significant other. Here are some reasons why you should shower with your partner;
1. It is intimate
One of the top benefits of bathing together with your partner is the intimacy that comes with it. You discover each other’s bodies more romantically and intimately. Gracing each other’s body with sensitive touches that might turn into an intimate moment is romantic. It is also a way to bond with one another.
2. It can help you get more comfortable with your body
Some people avoid showering with their partners because they are body-conscious and insecure about certain parts of their bodies. But one way to get rid of low self-esteem is by facing your fears, showering together with your partner will help you get rid of your insecurities. You can be more comfortable with your body when showering together.
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3. It is soothing and stress-relieving
Showering together with your partner can help relieve stress. It can also make you both feel relaxed and more comfortable around one another. It can also be nerve soothing when having a nice shower together with the one you love.
4. Your back gets washed properly
This might sound a bit off, both another reason to shower together with your partner is that your back gets washed properly. It is usually difficult to reach a certain spot on your back when bathing. Your partner can help you wash your back properly when showering together.
Final Thought
Trying to figure out why your boyfriend does want to shower together can be frustrating. Everyone has their preferences and your boyfriend might have a valid reason for not wanting to bathe together, you probably just have to ask him to get answers.
