It’s a fact that most people, these days, look to dating apps to make a romantic connection. But using a dating app can feel like a minefield and, if not approached with care, can take a toll on our self-esteem and have us questioning whether we’ll ever find ‘the One.’
With the sheer volume of potential matches that can be found on a dating app, it can seem deceptively easy to find our Mr or Mrs. Right, and, when we first sign up, we may think that making a meaningful connection should happen lightning fast.
Things can be more tricky than they seem, though, and it’s important when using a dating app that we take some steps to protect our mental health and keep a sense of perspective so that we can approach the search for love with a sense of optimism and – most importantly – a sense of humor!
1. Think About What You’re Looking For
To begin with, think – honestly- about what you are hoping to get from a dating app. While, of course, it’s vital to be open-minded to what could unfold, if you’re looking, for example, for a serious relationship, then it’s important to pick a dating app that’s geared to this rather than one that puts a focus on finding a fun fling. Read more about Zoosk here: a dating platform with a database of more than forty million users looking for a serious relationship.
It’s also important to make sure that you’re in the right place to sign up for a dating app: if you’ve suffered a recent split and are still feeling fragile, but those around you are pushing you to get back out there, then it’s probably better to wait a while until you’re genuinely ready. Think, too, about the time you have available to spend on messaging and – hopefully – getting out there on actual dates!
2. Sign Up for the Right App
As well as thinking about the sort of connection you’re interested in making, you may also want to consider signing up to a dating app that’s specifically geared to your circumstances; for example, there are dating apps out there for single parents, so you know that all of the matches you’ll make on such a site will be understanding of your status as a single parent, and likely to be sympathetic about the need to factor childcare into dating, for example!
Some dating apps are for young professionals, while others are designed for those wanting to have some casual fun. It’s also a good idea to have a look around at the various dating sites to assess the one that you would most enjoy and feel comfortable using. For instance, would you like anyone on the site to be able to message you, or only those that you have first matched with? Taking time to think about all of these things can help ensure you have an enjoyable and meaningful experience.
3. Create Your Profile
Once you’ve picked the app you want to use and have signed up, it’s time to create your dating profile. This part of the process is absolutely vital and can make a huge impact on the number of matches you get and the suitability of these matches.
Complete your profile in full, and be sure to highlight just why you are so wonderful! Add your interests and unique attributes, and if the profile has sections for this information, fill in the boxes that ask, for example, if you are open to matching with people who smoke or who live over a certain distance away. This is important to make sure that you’re only making viable matches.
When it comes to profile pictures, there are a few cardinal rules: for your profile shot, ensure that your face can be seen clearly, isn’t in profile, and that no filters are used. With so many profiles online, it’s a sad fact that it takes very little to persuade a person to swipe left, and one of these things is if they can’t see your photo clearly. Similarly, avoid group shots and – please – no bunny ears. Unless you actually have them in real life, of course.
4. Feeling Good Through the Process
There’s no doubt about it: using a dating app can be tough. But it can also be a lot of fun, allow you to learn lots about yourself, to meet plenty of interesting people and – who knows – connect with someone very special indeed.
The key to managing the process happily is, firstly, to keep things in perspective. Remember that the other people on the site only have the briefest of snapshots when it comes to you and your personality – and therefore, not matching with someone you’d really like to or sending a message that goes unanswered really is no reflection on you. I promise.
Secondly, try not to go into every date thinking that this person could be ‘the One.’ Not only does this create an inordinate amount of pressure on you – and the other person! – but it could also mean that you’re not able to judge fairly how the date went. Rather than thinking, ‘was I good enough for this person?’ stop and ask yourself, ‘Is this person a good match for me – because I deserve to be happy?’
Throughout the whole dating app process, it’s vital to keep your connection to who you are: keep doing the things you love, seeing the friends you enjoy hanging out with, and nurturing yourself at every opportunity. Self-love is the key to finding meaningful romantic love.
Unless your match looks like Jason Momoa, in which case, disregard all of the above.
