If I had a dollar for every time a male friend has come to me, confused about whether the girl he likes is not interested or is playing hard to get. It can be very difficult to read women sometimes because there is a very thin line between the behavior of a woman who is not interested in a guy and a woman who is simply playing hard to get.
In this article, I will point out the major differences between playing hard to get vs not interested and how to know when a girl is doing either.
Playing Hard to Get vs Not Interested
The main difference between when a girl is playing hard to get and when she is not interested in that if she is playing hard to get, you can tell if a girl is not interested in you. She will give you some clear signs. She will be cold and unresponsive, or maybe even rude. If she’s interested in you, it may take her some time to warm up to you, but once she does, she will be friendly, engaging and fun.
Playing hard to get is something that most women do at one time or another with men they find attractive. But what exactly does it mean? A woman who plays hard to get makes herself inaccessible so that men will want her more than anyone else has before. This can be done by giving guys silent treatment or by pretending not to like them when they’re around others.
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How to Know if A Girl Is Playing Hard to Get
1. Look for signs she’s interested in you
If you want to know whether a girl is playing hard to get, it’s important to pay attention to her body language and facial expressions. Showing interest in what you have to say by asking questions or engaging in conversation when they don’t need anything from you. Asking for help can also demonstrate interest.
2. Pay attention to how she responds to your attention
The most obvious sign that a girl is playing hard to get is how she responds to your attention. She’ll respond positively to your attention if she’s interested in you. She might talk to you or try to make eye contact with you. Or maybe she’ll smile at you when she sees you across the room.
On the other hand, if she’s not interested in playing hard to get, then she won’t give any indication of being attracted to you, and she won’t respond well or at all when you try talking with her or flirting with her.
If a girl isn’t responding positively when approached by someone who wants their interest, then it’s probably because they aren’t interested.
3. See if she talks about other guys
If she’s talking about other guys, it may seem like she’s flirting with you. However, it’s more likely that she’s just trying to make you feel insecure and jealous. If you think that a girl is playing hard to get and is flirting with other people, see if there are any signs of this in her behavior towards you.
If so, then there is a good chance that the girl is trying to make you jealous and show interest without actually showing interest in order to keep you guessing.
4. Find out if she’s interested in someone else
The easiest way to tell if she’s interested is to find out if she’s interested in someone else. If you ask her about her dating history and it has been pretty successful, then that’s great for you because there is a high chance that this girl wants another relationship soon.
However, if she mentions that most of the guys have been jerks and losers, then there is also hope for getting involved with her because she may be ready for a change. The same goes for asking about other people in general; if they’re currently single or looking for someone new, then it could mean they’re open to meeting more people.
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5. See if she makes time to hang out with you
If a girl is interested in you, she will make time to hang out with you. She will make excuses not to hang out if she isn’t interested. If you ask a girl out and she responds positively, then she wants to see you. She may have other plans already, but if those plans fall through and there’s still time for her to see you before your date, then this means that the girl wants to go on the date with you.
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The same goes for casual hangout situations with no obligations or expectations. Suppose someone asks me out on a date or invites me over for dinner at their house as friends, and I accept. In that case, that person is interested in having some sort of romantic or friendly connection with me in some way because otherwise, I wouldn’t have been invited over/asked out so many times.
6. Observe her body language when the two of you are together
She may look at you frequently. If she’s into you, she’ll check out your body language, expressions, and how you interact with her friends. A girl may touch your arm or leg while talking to her friends or brush up against you when walking past. This is a sign that she wants to get closer to you physically.
She may lean in when speaking with you so that she can hear better and understand what makes him interesting or funny, a hint that she finds what he has to say worthwhile enough for an ear-to-ear smile instead of just smiling politely before moving on to another topic. A girl who likes a guy will often lean toward him when speaking because this allows her to make eye contact more easily without being too forward about it.
How to Know When a Girl is Not Interested
1. She avoids you
She avoids you in social situations. If she’s often not around when you are, or she excuses herself from the room when you arrive, this is a pretty clear signal that she isn’t interested in spending time with you.
If she’s really not interested in getting to know you better and can’t find an excuse for avoiding a date or hangout session, then it wouldn’t make sense for her to avoid returning phone calls and text messages either, unless those contacts were becoming too frequent on her part.
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2. She always has an excuse
If she always has an excuse for not hanging out, it’s likely that she’s not interested. This can be the case even if you’ve been talking to her for a while, but especially if it seems you only met. She might claim to have other plans and then not show up or keep cancelling at the last minute so that she can see someone else instead of spending time with you.
You may also find yourself getting stood up by women who say they’ll meet up but fail to show up at the allotted time. When this happens multiple times in a row, it’s usually because the woman doesn’t really want anything more than friendship.
3. She doesn’t laugh at your jokes
This is a very common sign that a woman is not interested. If she’s not laughing, it may be because of any number of reasons: maybe she really doesn’t find you funny, or maybe she was just being polite when you told her the joke in the first place. Either way, if this happens too often with one person or on a regular basis with every guy you meet, then it might be time to take some serious stock of your sense of humor.
4. She never texts first
It may not seem like a big deal, but it can be. If a girl never texts first, she might have a boyfriend. She may also be too shy to initiate contact or wait for you to take the lead and ask her out. If you’re interested in getting to know someone, but they rarely text you first, that could be an indication that they aren’t really interested in talking with you either.
This doesn’t mean that every time a girl doesn’t text first means she’s not interested, but if it happens too often, then maybe it does.
5. Her replies are short and cold
If a girl is interested in you, she’ll make sure that you know. She’s going to use emoticons and punctuation to help convey her feelings, and if she needs to talk about something that isn’t face-to-face, she’ll take extra care to make sure that you understand what she’s trying to say.
If a girl isn’t interested in you, it’s likely that she won’t respond at all or only reply with one-word answers. That said, remember that this doesn’t mean that the conversation stops, she could have just moved on from the conversation or had an important message come up.
6. She never initiates contact
If she never initiates contact, it’s a sign she’s not interested. If you’re waiting for her to text you first or make the first move in any way, that’s a bad sign. Also, if she never texts you first and always waits for your response, that is also a bad sign.
7. She doesn’t maintain eye contact
Eye contact is often used as a sign of attraction, but it’s also an easy way to tell that someone isn’t interested in you. If she doesn’t maintain eye contact when talking to you, that clearly indicates that she is not interested in pursuing something further with you.
A girl will also avoid making eye contact with you if she doesn’t want to see your face or body language at all. This can be confusing because it could mean that she likes what she sees or feels nervous about being judged by others for her time spent talking with you. A girl who didn’t want anything more than conversation would simply look into your eyes while speaking and then turn away after finishing her sentence.
8. She pulls away from subtle touches
Once you have established that she is not interested in your company, you will notice that she pulls away from your touch. If she has been enjoying the feeling of your hands on her arms or back and suddenly withdraws, it could be because she doesn’t want to lead you on. The more physical contact there is between two people, the stronger their feelings for each other tend to be. When a girl is interested in someone else, she tends to get closer and closer until there is no space left between them.
9. She doesn’t ask you any personal questions
If a woman is not interested in you, she will not ask any personal questions. This is a very good way to tell that she is not into you. If she has no interest in getting to know you better, then there is no point in continuing the conversation. She’ll often switch topics so they won’t have to talk much while still appearing polite enough.
10. She either doesn’t smile or forces it
There are a lot of reasons why a woman would smile at you, but when it comes to chemistry and attraction, there are only a few. If she doesn’t smile naturally or force it in any way, then it’s not good news. She may be feeling nervous around you and trying to hide her nerves by putting on a brave face. She could also be shy or unsure of herself around new people.
The best case scenario is if she just isn’t into you. Another possibility is that, if she’s attempting to make herself seem more interesting than what’s going on inside of her head at that moment, this could also mean that there simply isn’t any chemistry between the two of you so far.
11. She’ll drop hints that she’s not looking to date
You can also tell when a girl is not interested in dating you by the way she interacts with you. She may not respond to your texts or even ignore them. The same goes for her calls. If she does respond, it will likely be brief and impersonal.
If the girl has stopped initiating contact with you, chances are she’s also lost interest in dating you. And if she doesn’t smile at you whenever she sees or talks to you, or even when talking about other things, she’s probably not into it anymore either.
Final Thought
Whether a girl is playing hard to get or not, she can be incredibly hard to read. This may have something to do with her being shy. It may also have something to do with the fact that she was hurt before and doesn’t want to feel vulnerable again. Perhaps she’s just bad at lying or telling white lies. This makes it difficult for her to feign interest in you when she isn’t interested in you.
