It can be frustrating not to know the true feelings of a man whose actions depict that he loves you but constantly denies having any feelings towards you. These mixed signals can be confusing. Relationships can get complicated when feelings are not clearly defined. Recently, a lady having mixed feelings about a guy asked me a question via email “Why does he say he is not in love with me but acts as he does?”
The major reason why a guy could say he isn’t in love with you when he is might be that he is unsure of his feelings towards you or he does what to complicate your relationship as “friends” so he thinks it’s best to deny having feelings for you. Meanwhile, there are other reasons why a guy could say he isn’t in love with you when his actions show otherwise. I will highlight some of these reasons. So, read on.
Reasons Why a Guy Says He Isn’t in Love With You But Acts Like He Does
Here are some reasons why a guy could pretend he isn’t in love with you when he is;
1. He might think he’s not good for you
A guy could conceal his feelings about a lady when he thinks he’s not good for her, especially a man with low self-esteem. It could be that he deeply loves you, but he feels you might reject him because he thinks he isn’t a good fit for you.
This is usually because he could feel you deserve more than he could ever offer. So, if the guy has low self-esteem, then this might be why he denies having romantic feelings towards you, even if his actions say otherwise.
2. He isn’t ready to commit
Love is a word that entails commitment. Having a romantic relationship with someone means you’d have to commit to the person. This might be what he is afraid of. A man can hesitate to tell you how he truly feels about you if he is afraid of commitment.
Saying “I love you” to someone can be an affirmation of affection towards someone, which could come with a commitment. Some people would prefer not to be bound by any obligations.
So, if a guy insists he doesn’t love you even though his actions say otherwise, it could be because he doesn’t want to be mentally committed.
3. He is not sure how you feel about him
Another main reason a guy would insist he has no feelings for you is that he might not be sure of your reaction. It is usually difficult to declare your love for someone without knowing how the person will react.
So, a man might hesitate to reveal his true feelings for a girl despite his love-declaring actions because of the fear of their love not being reciprocated by the one they love.
For instance, a guy would insist he doesn’t have feelings for you when you’re not allowing him to step up. If he notices that you do not show any interest in him, he may decide to pretend he also has no feelings for you.
4. He might not be ready to settle down
Saying “I love you” could have different meanings. It usually means having strong feelings of affection for someone. Declaring that you love someone doesn’t have to indicate any strong emotions when you are young. However, as an adult, “love” could mean different things.
For instance, adults might feel that saying “I love you” to a person means you’re ready to give them a chance in your life and begin a life together. This could entail getting married, having kids, and even making decisions together.
The phrase could also indicate that you would not date any other person again. So, as adults, saying “I love you “could affirm that you are willing to change your life and accommodate the person in it.
Hence, a man who isn’t ready to settle down would rather not admit his feelings to the one he loves.
5. He might have been hurt in the past
Another reason a guy might be afraid and hesitate to admit his feelings could be that he was previously committed and got hurt badly by his ex.
While heartbreaks and regrets could help mold a person to become a better person. It could also make him afraid of getting in any committed relationship to avoid getting hurt again.
So, even if a guy is always there for you, respects your opinions, and supports you. He could be in love with you, but is afraid of letting you know so he doesn’t get hurt in the process or even destroy the friendship that you both share.
He might also be trying to figure out how to be with you differently; without jeopardizing or destroying the relationship like his previous ones.
6. If he is dealing with personal issues
A guy might decide to set aside his feelings towards you when dealing with personal issues. For instance, if he is being overwhelmed with work, has a health issue, or even dealing with a family issue, he might be too emotionally strained to get into a romantic entanglement with you.
When a guy is facing personal issues and is trying to figure out how to solve them, he might not have time to express his affection and care towards you, even if he wants to.
That’s it! Above are possible answers to your question, why does he say he is not in love with me but acts like he does.
Signs A Guy Loves You Even Though He Doesn’t Act It
Below are some actions that show a guy loves you even if he doesn’t admit it;
1. He respects you
A guy who loves you will respect your opinions and decisions. He values your choices even when you both have different opinions.
2. He doesn’t try to change you instead he acknowledges your differences
A man who loves you will accept your individual opinions, feelings, and ideas as part of your personality. Even if you both share different opinions about something and engage in meaningful debate, he will respect your perspective instead of insisting you change your opinion to his.
Also, he is always ready to offer his advice and guidance when needed. But he never tries to change your choices or opinions. He wouldn’t also hold any grudges or criticize you for agreeing with him.
3. He is always there for you
Someone who loves you will always try to be there when you need them. When needed, he provides you with both physical and emotional support. He also offers assistance whenever possible and gives helpful suggestions when required.
If you can count on him to always be there for you and attend to your needs, then he might have romantic feelings towards you.
4. He makes you feel safe around him
A man who loves you will always want to protect and make you feel safe when you’re together. He stands by you during difficult moments and protects you from any harm. He could be in love with you when he makes you feel safe.
5. If he always wants to get close to you
He could be in love with you when he constantly tries to be around you as much as possible. He loves holding your hands when you’re together, placing his hand around your shoulder, and being happy to be with you.
6. When he is ever ready to do anything for you
A guy could be in love with you when he is always ready to help you. He constantly creates time for you, even if he is tired or has a tight schedule. He helps you during difficult times and is willing to be with you whenever you need him.
7. He supports your dreams
Another sign that a guy might be in love with you even if he doesn’t admit it is when he always supports you in every decision you’ve taken, rather than trying to create a different one for you.
8. Physical contact
A guy might also be attracted to you if he constantly loves having physical contact with you such as hugs. Even if he doesn’t admit that he likes you, the need for him to always have physical contact with you means he is comfortable around you. Also, he might even be trying to see your reaction to his touch.
Signs That He Is Not In Love With You
If you are confused as to whether or not he is in love with you, below are signs he may not be in love with you;
1. Lack of communication
Communication is a vital part of every relationship. If he doesn’t make any effort to communicate with you regularly or even ignores your calls/texts, then he may not be invested in the relationship.
2. Lack of respect
A man who loves you will treat you with respect, value your opinions, and would never make any attempt to belittle you. Therefore, if you notice the exact opposite in his behavior towards you, then he is likely not in love with you and might only be using you.
3. Lack of efforts
If he doesn’t put in any effort to show affection, make you feel special, or build a genuine connection with you, then he may not care about the relationship.
4. Lack of future plans together
If he doesn’t include you in his future plans, it could be that he isn’t invested in the relationship and might not be interested in a long-term union. He may also not be seeking to build a future together.
5. Avoids commitment
He may also not be in love with you if he is hesitant to commit or even define the relationship. It might be that he is not ready for a committed relationship with you.
How Do I Handle A Situation Where He Says He Is not In Love With Me But Acts As If He Does?
The most effective strategy for navigating this situation is to have honest and open communication. If you are feeling confused about the inconsistency between the person’s words and actions, the best step is to have an open conversation with them. Voice out your concerns, be honest about your feelings and allow them to speak. Listen actively and avoid playing blame games. Meanwhile, if the person is reluctant to have an honest conversation or address your concerns, then it might not be worth fighting for.
What should I do if I'm in a relationship with someone that doesn't love me?
If you are in a relationship with someone who has no romantic feelings towards you, it's vital to evaluate the things you look out for in a relationship and ascertain whether the relationship meets those needs. If it doesn't, then it might be time to move on and find a better partner.
Why would someone act like they are in love when they are not?
Some people pretend they are in love for different reasons. These reasons include to avoid hurting the other party, to keep the relationship going, to fulfill their selfish needs, they are enjoying the attention they are receiving from the other person, etc.
Final Words
So, if you are asking yourself, why does he say he is not in love with me but acts like he does? I think it is best to ask him, so you’d hear the answer directly from him. This is because it could be frustrating trying to figure out yourself, especially because you don’t know what’s going through their mind. Meanwhile, whatever the reason, you shouldn’t try to force things. Allow them to move at the right pace.
