The phrase “let us keep it casual” is a common phrase that two people use to get some benefit from each other, and the most common of them all is friends with benefits (FWB).
Polyamorous people are interested in “friend for benefits” due to their multiple relationships at a time. While some people successfully handle this casual relationship, others find it very difficult to separate emotional intimacy from sexual intimacy.
So, this may get you worried and possibly racking your head about the question, “is it okay to sleep over with an FWB?” Well, I may say yes and no, and this all boils down to the rules you have set for each other in your FWB relationship.
Although many people may frown at this, remember that the ultimate aim of having a friend with benefits is having someone with whom you can spend some intimate time without really having any deep emotional connections.
Perhaps you want to know more about why I think sleeping over with a friend with benefits seems dicey; keep reading as we take a closer look at some of the variables that can permit this.
The Consequences
Now, after your commitment to a casual FWB relationship, is it okay to allow your friend to sleep over? Well, there are many faces to this question. Before you answer, it’s important to point out a few things.
There are consequences attached to allowing your friend to sleep over. Some of them are:
1. Emotional attachment and Intimacy
Sleeping over creates an opportunity for emotional attachment to each other. Spooning and cuddles are activities that promote intimacy between couples. Thus, there is a high tendency for emotional attachment if you allow sleepovers within your FWB relationship.
Moreover, there will be pillow talks which can become very intimate. Such intimacy is not for FWB relationships. It is for serious partners. Thus, sleeping over will create an emotional attachment to the relationship.
2. Relationship Complications
If there is no boundary, sleeping over can lead to complications in the relationship. How? It will encourage morning sex and other activities that lead to an intimate relationship. Thus, it will become problematic and difficult to keep if you are not ready to commit your time to the relationship.
3. Clingy Behavior
Sleeping over allows for keeping a spare toothbrush, clothes, and other items, creating more intimacy in the relationship. Keeping items should not be part of the plans because it is not about a serious relationship.
Thus, sleeping over is an action that can lead to the advancement of FWB to an intimate relationship. Thus, it makes the relationship prone to issues that make the relationship problematic.
READ ALSO: Can You Have More Than One FWB?
What You Should Know Before Sleeping Over with FWB
Before you think of sleeping over with FWB, it is essential to know the following rules. It will enable you to make the right decision and deal with the relationship successfully.
1. Set Boundaries
Before you think of sleeping over, it is essential that you set boundaries that each other must respect. When the two parties know the boundaries, it is easier to think about sleeping over.
Sleeping over may look like every other person stopping at an apartment to spend the night. There will be nothing that changes the level of relationship between the two of you.
2. Avoid Emotional Feelings
Friend with benefits has a pathway that is different from emotional intimacy. You should come to this realization before allowing sleeping over with FWB. Once this is known, it is easy to allow sleepovers with FWB.
Some people find it easy to separate their emotional feelings from a sexual relationship. Others find it difficult to separate their emotional feelings from the sexual relationship. FWB is for those that should separate the two easily. If you can do this, sleeping over will not be a problem.
3. Choose Wisely
The most suitable FWB are people you are not emotionally attracted to but are only physically attracted to. Choose the person not because of emotional attraction but physical attraction and honesty. It will enable both parties to adhere to the boundaries without feeling emotional.
When you choose the right FWB, communication and trust will not be an issue. Thus, sleeping over will not degenerate to what will jeopardize the FWB relationship.
4. Be Transparent about the Sex life
Transparency is a key factor that can keep an FWB relationship. When the two of you are transparent about what you do, it will be easy to have a sleepover without taking it to another level.
For instance, when the two of you see couples outside the two of you and discuss it, it makes the relationship better. So, sleeping over will not lead to intimacy. Moreover, the two of you will play safe when practicing sex.
5. Remember Why You Started
Do not forget the major goal of the FWB relationship. Keep it in front of you and remind the other person. Once the two of you know the essence of the relationship, it is easier to sleep over with FWB.
However, there are cases where the other person may not want to keep to the boundaries you set. In this instance, it is essential to take your stand and refute any move that can lead to regret.
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Are There Benefits of Sleeping Over With A FWB?
Apart from more sex, there are no such benefits to allowing sleepovers with friends with benefits. There are tendencies of intimacy and time investment into a relationship you are not ready for.
Sleeping over with FWB benefits the party, ready to move the relationship from FWB to a more serious one. If you are not ready to move the relationship to another level, do not consider sleeping over with FWB. It is better to avoid sleeping over than allow it.
Final Thought
Sleeping over with FWB can be dizzy if the right thing is not considered. While going into FWB, there are different things to consider because every action has consequences.
Sleeping over can create an opportunity for intimacy or time investment if not managed properly. Moreover, it can give room for discussions that get you emotionally attracted to the person.
Before you allow sleeping over of FWB, it is essential to take note of the above rules we have stated above. It will enable you to create a system that prevents complications in your relationships with friends. Moreover, there are cases in which you need to make a bold decision to keep your relationship successful.
