Relationships are one of the most beautiful things that could occur in human life, but just like every other thing about life, everyone has unanswered questions about relationships. Hence we result in finding answers to them.
As a relationship therapist, I have received several emails with unanswered questions about relationships. A client recently asked, what does it mean when a guy wants you to sleepover? Well, let’s find out.
What It Means When a Guy Asks You to Spend the Night With Him
There are are different meanings inferable when a guy asks you to spend the night at his place. The number one of them is to get sexual with you. It is therefore, in your discretion to accept or decline when such request is made.
Both partners should be allowed to voice their feelings and opinions in a relationship. Every opinion should count, so if you are not ready to sleep with them, it is best you don’t stay the night, and if you have to sleep over, just say how you feel calmly.
Most guys want to get intimate with a girl they are attracted to, and asking you to spend the night might be the right opportunity. Most times, guys are more comfortable with it compared to girls.
However, a guy’s reaction when you say “no” will determine his type of person. A guy interested in creating a future with you would not get mad or call it quits just because you refused to sleep with him. Thus the right guy will be understanding.
Hence, when a guy asks you to spend the night, it usually implies that they want to be with you and spend time together. Also, because you both are adults and are attracted to each other, this can mean they’d like to get intimate with you.
How to Tell A Guy You Are Not Ready to Spend The Night With Him
When your partner asks you to sleep over, they most likely want to sleep with you or go intimate. Here is how to tell your partner you are not ready to get intimate.
1. Say “no” firmly
If your partner wants to get intimate with you, and you are not ready, simply say no. If you have an understanding partner, he will understand your concerns and be willing to wait until you are ready.
However, remember to put your partner’s feelings into consideration and tell them you are not ready in a calm manner. No one likes being rejected because it could affect a person’s self-esteem. Hence, I advise you to be considerate when telling your partner “No”.
Also, avoid judging him just because he asked to sleep with you. Desiring to be intimate with someone you are attracted to is perfectly normal. So, if you are not ready to have any intimacy, be honest, tell them how you feel, and say no.
2. Tell your partner what you are comfortable with
It is important to tell your partner all that you are comfortable with. If you are comfortable with cuddling, holding hands, or probably kissing, ensure to tell each other. Tell your partner whatever you are comfortable with, and if they don’t understand, they are probably not the right one for you.
Communication is at the root of every healthy relationship. It is paramount to always communicate clearly with your partner. This will place your relationship on the right path and help you sustain a stronger relationship.
For instance, if you are not ready for lovemaking, but comfortable with foreplay, you can tell your partner calmly. “I’m sorry, dear, I am not prepared for this, but I’m okay with foreplay”.
- “I understand that you are attracted to me as I am to you, but currently, I’m only comfortable with holding hands. I hope you understand”.
- Or you can say, ” I understand you want to go further, but right now, I’m only comfortable with kissing and nothing more”. Remember to be honest and polite, and choose your words carefully.
3. Reassure him that you love and adore him
As I stated earlier in this article, rejected are not usually easy to accept and can affect your partner’s feelings and self-esteem. Reacting to your feelings for your partner can assure them that you love and care about how they feel.
This might seem silly, but rejecting your partner could make him feel you do not love him anymore or are not attracted to him. That is why, during that time, it is very important to assure them of how much you love them.
You must soothe his feelings by explaining and letting him understand how much you care about him. This period is a good time to reassure him of your feelings towards him and let him know how you adore and love him. For instance, you can say:
“I love you so much and am also attracted to you. Just because I said “no” does mean I am any less attracted to you. I’m saying no to making love at the moment because I am not ready to get intimate. I hope you understand”.
“You know that I love and adore you. I’m also attracted to you as much as you are to me, and doing this will make me the happiest, but I know I will end up regretting it because I’m not ready, which could affect our relationship.”
4. Tell each other your expectations
Another way to tell your partner you are not ready for it is by discussing your expectations. Tell each other how you want the relationship to be and explain why you are not ready for intimacy
For instance, There are certain expectations you could have in a relationship that could withstand you from getting intimate with your partner. This includes: you want to wait till you get to know more about each other. You’d like to wait till after marriage. Or you probably have a certain time in mind before going intimate.
Whatever your expectations could be, you should let him know. You can say; “I would prefer we wait till after marriage before we have any form or rumpy-pumpy, and I hope to hold to it”
“I think we should not do this yet, so we don’t get confused about what we want since we are just starting to know each other “
However, you should know that your partner might not readily agree to your expectations. If he understands and decides to take the ride with you, then perfect. But it is best to leave the relationship if he tries to force you. You will always find someone willing to respect your decision.
5. Set healthy boundaries
Both partners should set healthy boundaries that they will respect and hold to. Respecting each other’s boundaries will increase mutual respect and help you grow closer. Every healthy relationship is developed by compromising and learning how to respect healthy boundaries.
If couples can listen to each other and set boundaries without judging each other, there are higher chances the relationship will last longer. The decision to get intimate with your partner is personal. Hence you have to ensure you don’t get pressured into doing it.
Therefore you should first analyze why you are not ready to get intimate with your partner. This is because it will be difficult to get influenced into doing something you are not ready for because you have a stronger reason. This will be willing to wait.
Also, stick to your decision and do not allow anyone’s opinion regarding sleeping with them to affect your decision. It is paramount to set boundaries, understand the reasons for the wait and respect each other decisions.
Is It a Good Sign if a Guy Wants You to Spend the Night
Yes, it’s a good sign if he wants you to spend the night because it means he’s interested in you. It is also a good sign if he has no ulterior motives. He probably doesn’t want to waste time going back and forth between your places. Either way, he’s showing that he likes spending time with you and wants to spend more of it.
Moreover, the fact that he wants to spend more time with you and get to know you better is a good thing. If he didn’t want to, he wouldn’t ask. He could just say “I’ll see you later” and then leave. But instead, he’s asking if it’s okay if he stays over because he wants to spend more time with you.
Ways to Get Closer To Your Partner Aside From S3x
Do you want to get closer to your partner without having any intimacy, here are some ways:
1. Listen attentively to your partner
A healthy relationship involves two partners who are not just willing to hear each other but are ready to listen. When speaking to your partner, drop your phone, turn toward each other, and avoid all forms of distractions.
Listen to what your partner is saying and contribute supportively. You can build intimacy in your relationship when you know you can tell your partner everything without being judged or criticized for your words. Hence I advise you to listen actively to your partner and strengthen your union.
2. Share long hugs
Hugging your partner will help reduce stress and increase the bond between you. Always hug your partner wherever you meet and separate from each other’s company. For instance: You can hug your partner before leaving or when returning from school or work.
3. Cuddle
Cuddling is another sure way to increase intimacy in your relationship. Whenever you are with your partner, I advise you to cuddle and feel each other’s warmth.
Conclusion
It is typical for your partner to want to get intimate with you, especially because you both are attracted to each. However, ensure always to own your decisions. Relationships are meant to be relished and not to influence you into doing anything you are not comfortable with.
