Guys aren’t known for being good at communicating their emotions, particularly when they hurt their women. It’s not really that they don’t give a damn; it’s just that they have difficulty communicating their feelings and emotions.
Several women are completely baffled, ask, and even search for the answer to the question “why do guys purposely hurt you?” Alternatively, “does he care that he did hurt me?”
Others have expressed their dissatisfaction by asking, “If he loves and respects me, why then does he hurt me?” “Or why does he continually hurt me emotionally?”
If you’re in this scenario and would like to comprehend why a guy would hurt you or what occurs when a man hurts a wonderful woman, keep reading.
ALSO READ: Why Does He Like To Scare Me?
What Exactly Does It Imply When a Guy Hurts You?
To begin with, when a guy hurts you, you experience a wide range of feelings such as rage, despair, frustration, and contempt.
The precise emotion that a guy feels will be determined by what created the dispute or conflict initially in the first instance. For example, he might say something which irritates you or criticize you for something you did not do.
Similarly, a guy might act in a way that you detest or repeat a habit that you have warned him against. He also might put you on the defensive. Whenever these things occur, keep in mind that they might or might not be deliberate.
He won’t express his emotions, although he has much on his mind. When a guy causes you pain, he shows behaviors that irritate you.
If he is unaware of what he is doing, it is critical to understand how to make a person feel awful for hurting you.
READ ALSO: Why Do Girls Complain More Than Guys?
Reasons Why Guys Can Deliberately Hurt You
Why would love cause pain? This isn’t merely a sentimental issue. Why do some men inflict bodily, and mental harm on the woman they claim to love?
These explanations why guys hurt the girls they adore might not always correspond to every relationship. It all varies depending on the situation you are going through and how much your lover is causing you pain.
Listed below are a few reasons why guys can deliberately hurt you
- Aggression
- Stress
- Problems with mental or psychological wellbeing
- Addiction
- Childhood Abuse
- Ineffective conflict resolution abilities
1. Aggression
If your partner has a short fuse and goes berserk with his emotions, he could have an anger management problem.
Certain men are aggressive to their partners or spouses but never to their colleagues, neighbors, or other relatives.
Some men vent their frustrations on the women close to them, such as their lovers or spouses.
If your partner can manage his anger at his workplace or publicly, he ought to be capable of controlling himself while he’s with you!
Is your lover frequently irritable and aggressive? There is every chance he’s leveraging his fury to scare you into submission and reclaim control.
2. Stress
Men who are under stress have been known to mistreat the women they love. Some wives or partners excuse their aggressive conduct at work, unemployment, schooling, or just everyday stress. If your lover suffers from a lot of stress, he can blame it on you.
Is he experiencing a lot of stress? Well so are you! Are you verbally aggressive to him? Most likely not.
This is a typical justification for domestic violence. There is no justification for treating you this way simply because your partner is under stress.
3. Problems with mental or psychological wellbeing
Some violent men have been labeled with a borderline personality disorder or behavioral conditions that contribute to abuse by physicians or psychologists.
There is absolutely nothing “bad” with suffering from a mental condition; the question is how your partner is dealing with his troubles. Is he abusing because of sadness, fear, or mood disorders?
Here are two questions to ask to discover whether your partner has a mental or emotional medical condition: Is he acting in an unhealthy or aberrant manner around others, or only you?
If he is frequently melancholy, violent, or strange with you and not with everyone else, probably his “mental health condition” may be a perfect excuse for his abuse.
TRENDING: Why Do I Get Obsessed With Guys?
4. Addiction
If your partner struggles with addiction, he will harm not just you. The woman he claims to love, but also his colleagues, subordinates, neighbors, and relatives.
He might not be able to manage his harsh actions. Drugs and alcohol are bad justifications for violence since they indicate that your partner has two issues:
1) the addiction problem
2) the abuse
Is your partner aggressive once he’s sober? If yes seek assistance, find measures to safeguard oneself, inform your family and close friends about your partner’s activities, and solicit, guidance, support, and suggestions from your loved ones.
Even if you are worried or ashamed about how your partner treats you, start the conversation regardless.
5. Childhood abuse
Has your partner been abused as a child? Some guys might be abusive to women in relationships due to the anguish and trauma they endured as kids.
Your guy might be continuing the abuse pattern in his adult life. However, abuse in a relationship is not justified even if it occurred as a youngster.
Men and women are both traumatized as children; as adults, they must learn how to get healed so that they do not harm others. Your partner should get the assistance he requires to recover from the trauma of his own horrible childhood experiences.
Your partner is a grownup who is now in charge of his actions and rehabilitation. He is not condemned to relive his misery by assaulting you.
6. Ineffective conflict resolution abilities
Another germane reason why a guy can hurt you is that they do not know how to address relationship difficulties. If you feel assaulted, scared, or embarrassed by your lover, then both of you have not understood how to settle a dispute in your relationship.
Your partner may have never learned how to settle conflicts with people he cares about, which is the reason why love is causing you both pain. Love shouldn’t be hurtful, but it sometimes does since it makes us more sensitive to loss and sadness emotionally.
A guy who claims to love you is never justified in hurting you. If your partner or spouse is unable to treat you with affection, consult with someone who can assist you in making a decision.
ALSO READ: Why Do Guys Avoid Their Ex?
Do Guys Feel Bad About or After Hurting You?
Do guys ever feel bad about harming a good girl? Do guys feel awful about hurting you? Is he concerned that he is causing me pain?
Naturally, they do. Nobody wants to be at odds with the people they care about. Remember that when a guy genuinely knows he hurts you, he feels ashamed.
You may believe he is without guilt, yet there will be indicators that he is aware of his actions.
1. He frequently checks on you.
Is he concerned that he is causing me pain? He does, indeed. Even if you don’t get along, a man will continually check in on you to see how you’re doing. He’ll be concerned about your welfare and would want to know how you’re doing.
2. He’ll find a means to get in touch with you
He never ceases to make me feel bad. Is he concerned that he is causing me pain? Yeah, this is why he’ll try everything to communicate with you or meet you.
When a guy hurts a woman he loves and feels guilty about his actions, he will seek out strategies to communicate with her.
It makes no difference if you’ve blacklisted him on all social platforms or moved to a different town or city.
3. He turns up
One of the indicators he is deeply sorry for hurting you is that he is always coming up to your home. He knows you’re upset, yet he wouldn’t exchange seeing your smile for anything else.
4. There will be changes in him
A shift in conduct is one of the most telling signals that he understands he is hurting you.
If his reluctance to modify his conduct had been the source of the argument, he would happily do it being aware his actions have hurt you earlier.
What Should You Do if a Guy Purposely Hurt You?
It must cease if you’re with someone who is inflicting harm on you right now.
Purposefully hurting somebody you love is not a hallmark of a loyal relationship or someone who is concerned with your emotions. That is the plain truth.
When a guy says nasty words to you, he is most likely trying to hurt you. He is most likely not concerned with your emotional well-being or the way you are feeling at that time.
In any case, if someone is purposefully hurting you, take immediate action.
You cannot simply allow someone to dominate you. So, it’s about time you learned what to do and how to react when a guy purposefully hurts you.
Because “it’s fine” or “don’t worry” isn’t going to suffice. It for long. You cannot give them a pass all the time.
1. Feel the anguish
Don’t deny it really doesn’t sting when a man abuses you. Let yourself experience the agony. If you can, scream or cry. Then, consider why it affects you so much and your participation in the incident.
2. Make him know how much he hurts you
You have a choice between confronting them and avoiding them. There is no middle ground.
To begin, you must understand how to make a guy feel sorry for hurting you. It will be difficult to correct a man who does not recognize he is hurting or has hurt you.
If you decide to confront them, you have chosen that you will no longer tolerate their actions. There are two options here: maintain the relationship or quit it. You can also opt not to respond to them but be aware that this abuse will occur again.
3. Avoid being defensive
Assume you’ve decided to face them. This has the potential to be a fantastic concept. It’s time to stop taking the abuse you’ve been getting. It’s simple to play the defensive card, but it doesn’t go you very far.
Explain only your side of the story and your vantage point on what transpired. You’re not supposed to persuade them.
TRENDING: Why Does My Boyfriend Not Want To Shower With Me?
4. Forgive
You can’t envision how he’ll respond when you tell him he’s hurting you. Nevertheless, for your tranquility and sanity, you should let his transgression go. This includes forgiving him for anything he may have done. Forgiveness is essential for your rehabilitation.
5. Assess the relationship
Do you want to save the relationship now that you’ve talked it out? It’s a difficult question to answer. If your partner has been unfaithful to you, you should generally not try to save the relationship.
However, in certain cases, such as a disagreement about household chores, you may wish to improve the relationship without severing it.
6. Set limits
You’ve felt what it’s like to be purposely damaged by someone. It was difficult, but it was a vital learning opportunity. Now is the moment to set limits for yourself.
If you don’t, you’ll never know where the line is, and no one else will either. Set appropriate limits for yourself. It will avoid such incidents from occurring in the future.
Conclusion
When relationships are good, they are wonderful. However, when they’re nasty, they have the power to hurt far more than just your feelings.
When a relationship causes more damage than good, it may destroy your self-esteem, change the trajectory of your existence, and perhaps even bring you into a direction you eventually regret.
There has never been a justification for abuse. Are you being mistreated by a guy who claims to love you yet physically or emotionally abuses you? Find someone to discuss the concept of love with. Learn to defend yourself because you deserve to be respected and not to be treated in this manner.
A fantastic aim may be to understand oneself so well that you can minimize both the purposeful and unintended pain that any guy inflicts on you.
