I was once in an FWB relationship for the past year. We were great friends first, and then we became intimate. Later on, he told me he wanted to end things because he thought it was unfair on his girlfriend and that I deserved better than a casual thing. He didn’t want to hurt me, but he thought it was for the best. I was confused, and the question on my mind was: will my FWB come back after he left me?
In my experience, it depends on how it all ended. If he left because he’s now in a relationship, then he most likely won’t. However, if he left because of your behavior or because he thinks you’re becoming too attached, you can win him back by fixing your actions.
The problem is that when you become intimate with someone, there’s an expectation that it will lead to something more. But if an FWB decides to leave, it is most likely that he will not come back. If he leaves because he wants more than just fun, then he’s being honest with himself and his intentions. But if he leaves because he doesn’t want to get attached, then you should take the cue and move on. You need to decide if this guy is worth your time and effort.
ALSO READ: Do Friends With Benefits Work?
Why Does My FWB Want to Come Back After He Left Me?
1. He’s not over you, yet
There are a few reasons your FWB might return to you. For one thing, he still has feelings for you that he can’t let go of. He wants to get back together with you and be with you again. He still thinks about you and misses being around you.
Your fwb may have told himself that he doesn’t care about anyone anymore or that he isn’t capable of loving someone else again. But deep down inside, his heart isn’t really convinced by this idea, and it never will be until he lets go of everything related to your relationship and takes a step back from the situation in order to analyze his own thoughts without any pressure from others involved in the situation.
2. He wants to rekindle things with you
He may have left your life but didn’t leave his feelings for you. There is a probability that he is still in love with you and wishes things could be as they once were. If he asked to come back into your life and rekindle what burned out between the two of you, it’s because his heart still yearns for yours.
He knows that there was something special about your relationship together, even if it wasn’t meant to last forever; whether it was the sex or otherwise, he won’t be able to let go of those memories without a fight because they’re so precious to him.
3. He wants to protect you
Another thing is that he could have left because he didn’t trust himself around you and doesn’t want to hurt you. You may have been feeling like the relationship was moving away from being friends with benefits and into something more serious, which would make him feel threatened. If this is the case, it’s likely that he doesn’t want to lose his friendship with you either. He just needs time apart so that things can change again for both of your sake.
4. He’s genuinely attached to you now
If your FWB is coming back to you after he left you, then it is because he’s genuinely attached to you now. You have been on his mind and he can’t stop thinking about you. He misses you, and wants to be with you again. The only thing that changed from when the two of you were together was that he left for a while before coming back. And it seems like more than ever, too.
5. He knows that he has made a mistake when he left you
If he has left you, he probably knows he made a mistake. He is not over you and wants to rekindle things with you. You have something no one else does. He wants to protect and provide for the woman who has captured his heart. The man that loves you now is not the same one who walked away from your relationship in the past; his feelings are real, genuine, and deep-seated because they were born out of time spent together as friends before becoming lovers.
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How Long Does an FWB Situation Last?
When you’re in an FWB situation, it’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of the moment and forget about the future. But, like all relationships, an FWB relationship has a beginning, middle and end. The length of time that an FWB situation lasts can vary from person to person. It depends on your commitment level and how much you’re willing to invest in each other.
If you’re looking for something casual and don’t want anything serious, you should be prepared to move on when things get too emotionally intense or boring with your partner. But if you want something more than just intimacy, then it might be worth investing some time to see if there could be something more between you.
How to Make an FWB Relationship Last Longer
Friends with benefits can be fun, but they may not always last. If you want to make your FWB relationship last longer, try these tips:
1. Determine whether it’s the right fit for you
It’s important to be clear on what you want from the relationship and how it can fit into your life. It takes time to figure out what works for you. Above all, be honest with yourself about whether this is something worth pursuing further.
Do you have enough in common with your friend? FWB relationships are based on friendship and trust. So having similar interests will help keep things interesting and prevent awkward moments.
Are both parties interested in pursuing something more than just sex? A lot of people wonder if they should start fooling around with someone who has given them mixed signals but remember: if they don’t want more than a hookup, then it won’t work out anyway.
2. Take a trip together to see if you connect outside of the bedroom
One of the best ways to assess whether you connect IRL is by taking a trip together. If you’re able to talk and laugh with each other, that’s a good sign. But if you find yourselves bickering over something stupid, it could be time to end things before they go too far. Of course, this doesn’t mean that all trips need to be romantic. If they aren’t yet in any kind of relationship, it’s best not to force it.
3. Establish boundaries with each other from the start
One of the biggest ways to keep your relationship fresh is to establish boundaries with each other from the start. You and your FWB may have different ideas about a healthy relationship. It’s important that you talk about these differences so that no one feels like they’re giving more than they’re getting.
Establish realistic expectations for yourself and for your partner early on. If you need help setting up boundaries, consider reading up on how other people have done it in their own lives. We’ve got plenty of suggestions here. If something goes wrong, don’t be afraid to ask for help, and don’t be afraid to say no if something makes you uncomfortable.
READ ALSO: Is Being Friends With Benefits With Your Ex a Good Idea if You Want to Get Back Together?
4. Don’t feel pressured to introduce them to your friends or family
This is a big one. If you don’t want to introduce your FWB, it’s okay. You and the other person are in this together, and the relationship isn’t about anyone else but you two. It’s important for both parties involved in an FWB situation to understand that this partnership is unique from all other relationships in their life and exists solely between them.
5. Don’t make comments that could be perceived as insulting or offensive
With an FWB relationship, it’s easy to make comments that could be perceived as insulting or offensive. No matter who said what or why they did it, these are things that can happen in any type of relationship. Still, because an FWB situation is more casual than other kinds of partnerships, you must take extra care not to hurt each other’s feelings with careless remarks.
6. Be okay with no strings attached
You have to be okay with having no strings attached. If you’re looking for a relationship, this is not the right way to go about it. Your FWB needs to know that it’s casual and nothing more, no feelings, no emotions, and definitely no expectations of being your boyfriend.
Final Thoughts
If he’s not coming back, it’s because he doesn’t want to. He has a reason for it, and you should respect that. If you don’t want to lose him forever then take some time to think about why he left and what you could do differently next time, but don’t beg him or threaten him with anything else because those things won’t work either.
