In today’s world, being friends with benefits is common. However, is it possible with an ex? Being friends with benefits with an ex doesn’t only end badly but also affects the people involved mentally and psychologically, and most relationship experts do not advise FWB relationships. So, is being friends with benefits with your ex a good idea?
No, being friends with benefits with an ex is not a good idea, especially if you want to get back together. The idea of fwb with ex can be quite tricky. It is a situation that can blur the chances of ever getting back together. Yes, it might seem like a way to stay and reconnect with one another, but being friends with benefits with your ex can destroy all chances of ever getting back together.
However, whether or not it is a good option to have a friend-with-benefits (FWB) relationship if you want to get back together with an ex depends mainly on both parties. To help you decide, we have discussed the pros and cons of being friends with benefits with an ex if you want to get back together. We have also highlighted tips on how to make an FWB arrangement with your ex-work. Read on!
- The Pros Of Being Friends With Benefits With An Ex
- The Cons of Being Friends With Benefits With An Ex
- Factors to Consider Before Entering Into A Friends With Benefits Arrangement With Your Ex
- Alternatives To Being Friends With Benefits With An Ex
- Why Is It So Tempting to Be Friends With Benefits With an Ex?
- Why Do Friends With Benefits Relationships End?
The Pros Of Being Friends With Benefits With An Ex
In some cases, being friends with benefits with an ex does work out. Below are some of the advantages of having a friends-with-benefits arrangement with an ex if you want to get back together:
1. Rekindling romance
Being in an arrangement with your ex might be a perfect way to rekindle the romance, spark, and passion that may have been lost in the previous relationship. By being intimate, both parties can work towards rekindling the connection they once had with one another.
2. Maintaining closeness with your ex
If both parties are on the same page about wanting to get back together, getting into a friends-with-benefits relationship is a good way of maintaining the closeness and connection you shared.
3. Having someone familiar to rely on for intimacy
You and your ex already know each other. You have had both good and bad memories together. Also, you have shared history. Therefore, having a physical relationship with someone you are already familiar with such as your ex can be enticing.
4. Rebuild trust and intimacy with your ex
Another advantage of being friends with benefits with your ex is that it could be an opportunity to rebuild trust and reconnect emotionally with your ex. It allows you to lay a foundation for a healthier and more understanding relationship. This can be quite helpful, especially if both parties are interested in getting back together.
4. The chance to rebuild the relationship if it is worth it
Getting into a physical relationship with your ex gives you the chance to mend things. It is an opportunity to resolve the issues that led to the previous break up. You and your ex can decide to rebuild your relationship while satisfying each other’s physical needs.
5. It allows you to know whether getting back together is a good idea
Getting into an FWB arrangement might be a good idea if you are unsure about whether or not you should get back together with your ex. It allows you to track how things will unfold without committing to a romantic relationship. This way, you get to ascertain whether or not the relationship is worth pursuing.
Despite the pros of getting into an FWB arrangement with your ex, remember that FWB arrangements can lead to complications emotionally and even mentally. Also, it may not even lead to a reconciliation between you and your ex, thus causing you pain. Below we have highlighted the downsides of being in an FWB arrangement with your ex.
The Cons of Being Friends With Benefits With An Ex
Being friends with benefits with an ex you are interested in getting back together with has numerous drawbacks. Below are some of them;
1. The risk of getting hurt again if the feelings are not mutual
By getting into a friends-with-benefits relationship with your ex, you stand the chance of getting hurt if the feelings are not mutual. For instance, while you are interested in getting back together with your ex, they might just be with you for the fun.
2. It can be difficult transitioning from an FWB relationship to a committed relationship
Turning an FWB relationship into a full-fledged relationship can be difficult, especially if both parties aren’t on the same page about what they want from the relationship.
3. It makes it difficult to move on
If you are interested in getting back together with your ex, but it isn’t fruitful, maintaining an FWB relationship can make it harder to move on. This is because the intimate encounter would keep the memories of the time you spent together fresh in your mind, thus making it difficult to move on.
4. It would be difficult to maintain healthy boundaries
Maintaining healthy boundaries in an FWB relationship with an ex can be quite difficult, especially if both parties have varying expectations. It can result in disappointment and confusion about what you want out of the relationship
5. It could create confusion
Getting into an FWB arrangement with your ex might create mixed feelings and confusion, especially if you have hopes of getting back together. An FWB arrangement will make it difficult to ascertain if both parties are on the same page about their expectations and intentions, thus creating confusion in the long run.
6. The FWB arrangement could be used as a way to avoid commitment or solve unresolved issues
If there are unresolved issues from the past relationship, one person may use the FWB arrangement as a way to avoid resolving them. It may also be used by one person to avoid getting into a committed relationship.
7. There are chances of getting hurt
If both parties are not on the same page about their intentions or expectations from the relationship, there are chances of getting hurt. For instance, if one person is more interested in getting back together, they are likely to get hurt if the FWB arrangement does not transition into a committed relationship.
Therefore, it is important to be honest, and upfront about your expectations before entering into an FWB arrangement with your ex. It is also a good idea to be prepared for any potential outcome from the arrangement.
Factors to Consider Before Entering Into A Friends With Benefits Arrangement With Your Ex
Here are a few factors to consider before getting into an FWB relationship with your ex:
1. Expectations
What are your expectations? What are your ex’s expectations? Are you both looking to get back together? Or are you in it for the fun? You must both be on the same page before considering such an arrangement.
2. You might get hurt
Before getting into an FWB relationship with your ex, you must consider the possibility of getting hurt. This usually happens when one person develops feelings for the other and it isn’t mutual.
3. Communication
Ensure that you can communicate your intentions, feelings, and expectations clearly with your ex. It is also important to talk about the boundaries of the relationship. Through an honest and open conversation, you get to ascertain if an FWB relationship will work out between you and your ex.
4. Closure
Have you fully gotten over the previous relationship? Before getting into a friends-with-benefits arrangement with your ex, ensure that you have achieved closure and have no unresolved issues from the previous relationship.
5. Other people involved
If you are both dating other people, getting into a friends-with-benefits arrangement with your ex can be quite difficult. Such an arrangement will not only hurt you both but also affect your respective partners. Therefore, before getting into an FWB arrangement with your ex, ensure that everyone is okay with the idea.
As stated earlier, FWB relationships can be quite complicated. Above are some of the main factors to consider before getting into an FWB arrangement with your ex.
Alternatives To Being Friends With Benefits With An Ex
Is Being Friends With Benefits With Your Ex A Good Idea If You Want To Get Back Together? No, it isn’t. Below are alternatives to getting into a “friends with benefits” (FWB) arrangement with an ex:
1. Build a healthy friendship
Instead of getting into an FWB arrangement with your ex that has a 70% chance of failing, why not build a healthy friendship? By building a healthy and platonic friendship with your ex, it might be possible to rebuild your relationship.
2. Go out with other people
Dating other people may allow you to move on from your ex. It is also a good way to explore other options and possibly get a new partner. However, if you are both already in an FWB arrangement, ensure to communicate that with your ex first.
3. Take some time away from them
If the friends-with-benefits arrangement is inflicting more harm than good, it might be best to take a break from each other. This will give you both the opportunity to heal and process your feelings. It would also provide you the opportunity to determine if the relationship is worth fighting for.
4. Seek the help of a therapist
If you find it difficult to move on from the previous relationship, we recommend that you seek the help of a therapist or a relationship counselor who can help you healthily navigate through the hard times. They would provide you with tips and strategies on how to move on from the breakup.
5. Avoid getting in touch with them.
If being friends with your ex hurts you emotionally, it might be best not to remain friends altogether. Yes, it might seem difficult, especially if you have mutual friends. However, avoiding contact altogether might be the best decision for your emotional health.
Friends with benefits arrangements are complicated. It might not be the right option for you. Above are a few alternatives to being in an FWB arrangement with your ex.
Why Is It So Tempting to Be Friends With Benefits With an Ex?
It is not exactly easy to get over your ex immediately after breaking up. I mean, this is someone that you shared very special moments with. You can still be attracted to them even though you are no longer together.
Resisting the temptation to run back into their arms is very difficult. That’s why many exes still maintain sexual relationships even if they have broken up for years. Sexual ecstasy could be when both are single, and it can also be on and off if both have partners. Some say it is a detaching process. However, this can easily backfire if you expect more, like a reconciliation.
Meanwhile, being in a friend’s with benefits situation with your ex could help you get back together, but it can also stir up confusing feelings or complicate things, especially if you never got over them in the first place.
Maybe being sexually active with your ex can work to a certain extent. However, remember that you broke up for a reason, and you should focus on getting a partner interested in having a serious relationship with you, and constantly seeing your ex might slow down your healing process.
Ultimately, being friends with benefits with your ex can work out; however, ensure to set up clear boundaries if you and your ex can agree to a relationship with no strings
Why Do Friends With Benefits Relationships End?
The relationship between friends with benefits usually ends when one person develops feelings that could not be reciprocated. Another reason why couples spill is due to fading interest in the affair, crossing boundaries, or even an opportunity to be in a serious relationship. It is nearly impossible not to have personal feelings for someone you are sexually active with, even if you both agreed that no emotions would be involved from the start.
Also, you should be aware that being intimate is mental. Thus one has to be attracted to the other person to enjoy their presence and have a good time. Hence, it can get complicated when both attraction and motion are fused. Also, friends with benefits can decide to end their relationship whenever they feel it is the right time. So, although friends with benefits end, it would be easy to disentangle from all the emotions.
What is the major risk associated with getting into an FWB arrangement with an ex?
One of the major risks associated with getting into an FWB arrangement with your ex is that one person might develop romantic feelings toward the other. This can sabotage the arrangement if the other person does not reciprocate the feelings.
Why might someone consider being friends with benefits with their ex?
Some people consider getting into a friends-with-benefits arrangement with their ex because they think that by having sexual encounters, they might be able to revive their romantic relationship. While other people are just in it for the fun.
Conclusion
Being friends with benefits with your ex is not a good idea, especially if you want to heal and get back together with them. It is always advisable to give each other some space to figure out what you wish to do after breaking up. So, what do you think about friend-with-benefits? Do you have any questions or comments about friends with benefits, kindly drop them in the comments section.
