In today’s world, being friends with benefits is common. However, is it possible with an ex? Being friends with benefits with an ex does end badly but also affects the people involved mentally and psychologically, and most relationship experts do not advise FWB relationships among ex.

So, Is Being Friends With Benefits With Your Ex a Good Idea if You Want to Get Back Together? No, being friends with benefits with an ex is not a good idea, especially if you want to get back together.

READ MORE: Should You Remove Your Ex on Social Media if You Want to Get Back Together?

Why Is Being Friends With Benefits With Ex Not a Good Idea?

While you may believe you could control getting attached emotionally to one another, you have to understand that feelings are unavoidable no matter how you view them, and this can lead to complications in the long run.

Often when two ex-couples agree to have a friend-with-benefits relationship, one person seems to be doing it for the wrong reasons. It is mostly because they are still interested in the relationship and secretly hope that their ex changes their mind and wants to get back together during the process. This makes friends with benefits with an ex a really bad idea.

However, Since you both are adults and if you both have mutual understanding and agreement to have a clear community and stick to boundaries about what you want, this type of relationship may work.

Finally, it is not advisable for your emotional health. This is because acting like you are together with your ex, even though you both ain’t, can only make the situation tense and painful. Being sexually active with your ex may seem like you are together again. Thus one of you may even want them to get back together, and the other might not.

ALSO READ: What Should I Do if I See My Ex on Bumble?

What Are Friends With Benefits?

Friends with benefits is a term used for when you are constantly having casual sex with someone without actually being in a committed relationship. The friends with benefits relationship is a type wherein two people are sexually active yet are not commuted to each other.

The people involved in friends-with-benefits relationships are usually fond of each other, but their relationship is merely physical with no romance and no strings attached. However, we advise that both people involved should be educated on this. 

What Are the Downsides of Being Friends With Benefits With an Ex?

Apart from being confused about your stance, being sexually active with your ex can have several effects on you that you’d expect. You tend to have no control of your feelings or ex; you may even want a more profound commitment. Even if you both create boundaries and establish rules of what you can and can’t do in the relationship, you can not control how you will feel, mainly if you still have feelings for your ex and want your ex back. 

Meanwhile, being friends with benefits with your ex will also prevent you from ever healing completely. Hence it is not a good idea to have casual sex with your ex, especially if you want them back. Remember, you and your ex split for a reason. One of the reasons people break up is to move on and go their separate ways. Moreover, having intimacy with your ex will only cause you more pain down the line.

After breaking up with an ex and staying connected as friends with benefits, one person will still be nurturing the hope that they would get back together, while another will most likely take advantage of that. This situation will only result in severe pains, mixed feelings, drama, and jealousy. It is best not to be in touch with your ex. 

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Why Is It So Tempting to Be Friends With Benefits With an Ex?

It is not exactly easy to get over your ex immediately after breaking up. I mean, this is someone that you shared very special moments with. You can still be attracted to them even though you are no longer together.

Resisting the temptation to run back into their arms is very difficult. That’s why many exes still maintain sexual relationships even if they have broken up for years. The sexual ecstasy could be when both are single, and it can also be on and off if both have partners. Some say it is a detaching process. However, this can easily backfire if you expect more, like a reconciliation. 

Meanwhile, being in a friend’s with benefits situation with your ex could help you get back together, but it can stir up confusing feelings or complicate things, especially if you never got over them in the first place.

Maybe being sexually active with your ex can work to a certain extent. However, remember that you broke up for a reason, and you should focus on getting a partner interested in having a serious relationship with you, and constantly seeing your ex might slow down your healing process.

Ultimately, being friends with benefits with your ex can work out; however, ensure to set up clear boundaries if you and your ex can agree to a relationship with no strings attached and are willing to stick to the rules that both of you have. However, if any of you have confused feelings or any hidden reasons, we advise that you have a rethink before going into the union.

Do Friends With Benefits Ever Get Back Together?

Friends with benefits do not always have a great ending, it usually leads to complicated feelings, and you both might end up hurting and even hating each other. It might even be nearly impossible for friends with benefits to get back together as friends. However, you might want to rethink the relationship before you let off the relationship completely.

Why You May Want to Have a Rethink Before Getting Back?

1. You and your ex might have been friends even before dating or before you started having casual sex. Friends with benefits could still be friends if they are willing to have an honest, clear, and emotional-free conversation.

2. When having the conversation, be upfront, straightforward, and stand your ground. Talk about how you feel about the whole situation and why you believe the relationship should stop. You can also try to be kind with your words if you want to remain friends, let them know how you value your relationship, and you’d like to reignite your friendship. 

3. Also, if you have decided to date someone else or want to stop being sexually active with them and be friends again, the best decision is to come clean with them. Even though they might feel bad or offended by your decision, if you are honest and kind with your words, there are chances your friendship could be revived.

4. Acknowledging that you were both good friends before becoming friends with benefits, focusing on your past experiences, similar interests, and making new memories will help save your old friendship.

5. However, if nursing is hurt or unhappy, you might want to consider giving them the space they need to feel better. There is no assurance your friendship will be the way it was before everything. Still, if you are honest, clear, understanding, and compassionate, your friendship may even be stronger than it ever was. 

Why Do Friends With Benefits Relationships End?

The relationship between friends with benefits usually ends when one person develops feelings that could not be reciprocated. Another reason why couples spill is due to fading interest in the affair, crossing boundaries, or even an opportunity to be in a serious relationship. It is nearly impossible not to have personal feelings for someone you are sexually active with, even if you both agreed that no motions would be involved from the start.

Also, you should be aware that being intimate is mental. Thus one has to be attracted to the other person to enjoy their presence and have a good time. Hence, it can get complicated when both attraction and motion are fused. Also, friends with benefits can decide to end their relationship whenever they feel it is the right time. So, although friends with benefits end, it would be easy to disentangle from all the emotions. 

ALSO READ: How Long Is Too Late to Get Your Ex Back? Let’s Find Out


Being friends with benefits with your ex is not a good idea, especially if you want to heal and get back together with them. It is always advisable to give each other some space to figure out what you wish to do after breaking up. So, what do you think about friend-with-benefits? Do you have any questions or comments about friends with benefits, kindly drop them in the comments section.

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Hi, I'm Lizabeth. I'm a writer. I like to write about stuff relating to love and relationship. I believe love can work for everyone, and if it doesn't work you can always give it another try.

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