Being in a relationship with a partner who seems determined to change you can be exhausting. After all, shouldn’t someone who loves you be willing to accept you for who you are? Imagine having a partner who is fixated on making you gain weight.
It might seem absurd – but it is a situation some people are in. As a relationship coach, I have had to deal with cases like this. In fact, I recently received an email from a lady who expressed, “My boyfriend is making me fat on purpose” What should I do?
While excessive weight gain might raise health concerns, he may just be looking out for you. Especially if you were underweight or dealing with malnourishment.
In this blog post, you will discover possible reasons why your boyfriend is trying to make you fat. And as someone who has experienced something similar, I will provide you with guidance on how to navigate the situation. So, read on.
10 Possible Reasons Why Your Boyfriend Wants You to Gain Weight
Through conversations I have had with men who have experienced or initiated such behavior and my personal encounters, let’s explore potential reasons behind your boyfriend’s actions;
1. He is insecure
If your boyfriend struggles with his insecurities, he might fear you will eventually leave him. It’s possible that he feels threatened by other men around you and believes that making you gain weight will make you less appealing to them.
2. He wants to control you
For some guys, being controlling is their thing. If your boyfriend seeks dominance in your relationship, he might try to alter your appearance.
He could be under the mistaken impression that he gains power over your choices and actions by influencing your weight.
3. He is jealous
Dealing with a consistently jealous partner can be challenging. Your boyfriend’s jealousy might stem from his fear of losing you to someone else.
By making you gain weight intentionally, he could be aiming to diminish your confidence and attractiveness, reducing the likelihood of you leaving him for someone he views as superior.
4. He wants to isolate you
While this is rare, some guys try to isolate their partners from their friends and family. They try to make their partners feel less confident so that they feel insecure and less likely to leave them.
So, If your boyfriend’s actions are indeed leading you to gain weight, he might be hoping that you will rely more on him and withdraw from others. If this is the case, then it’s manipulation, and it is important that you get help if you are in this situation.
5. He has low self-esteem
Your boyfriend’s own struggles with self-esteem could contribute to his behavior. If he feels insecure about his looks, he might want you to gain weight so that he feels better about himself. And strangely, He might find solace in the idea that you’re facing similar struggles.
6. He is a manipulator
You may be in an unhealthy relationship with a manipulator. Manipulators seek to control your actions, decisions, and interactions.
If you have previously expressed concerns about weight gain, he could be exploiting those concerns to his advantage. His aim may be to influence your emotions and make you gain weight to suit his needs.
7. You adapted to his eating habits
As a couple, especially if it’s a new relationship, you are likely going to eat out or order in a lot. So, you may have adopted his eating habits, which has been making you gain weight. Perhaps you are indulging in more calorie-dense foods compared to when you were single.
If this is true, your boyfriend is not necessarily trying to make you fat. And it’s not entirely to be blamed for your weight gain. I advise that you take a retreat and gain conviction in eating healthy.
8. He wants you to look like his “ideal woman”
Every individual has preferences regarding physical appearance. If your boyfriend is attracted to a certain body type, he might attempt to alter you to match that ideal.
He may decide to feed you unhealthy stuff or even interfere with your workout routine, in an attempt to make you look the way he likes.
9. He wants to end the relationship
Maybe he is fed up with the relationship and is looking for ways to end it. He may try to make you gain weight and use it as a gateway to end things. He is probably a coward who can’t face his decisions head-on.
And therefore, he is looking for a reason to break up with you. If this is the case, then he doesn’t value what you have and you shouldn’t stay in such a relationship.
10. He is not aware of the health issues linked to weight gain
Although your boyfriend’s actions may contribute to your weight gain, he might be oblivious to the potential health implications.
If he maintains an unhealthy lifestyle himself, consuming fast food and eschewing exercise, he might unknowingly encourage you to adopt similar habits out of a shared fondness for food.
7 Things To Do When Your Boyfriend Is Making You Fat
When you find yourself in a situation where your boyfriend seems to want to make you fat, it’s important that you take major steps in addressing the issue. Below I will guide you on what you can do:
1. Talk to him
You should initiate an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend. Let him know your feelings and how his actions are making you uncomfortable.
You should also let him know that you cherish your body the way it is. And it’s wrong for him to want to change it to his preferences. During the conversation, ensure to be open and respectful.
2. Discuss your eating habits with him
During your conversation, you should also discuss your eating preferences and habits. Let him know how his constant attempt to influence what you eat goes against your fitness goals, making you uncomfortable with it.
You should then, firmly but respectfully, let him know that you want to make your own choices when it comes to food.
3. Say “no” to unhealthy foods
You should learn to say “no”, especially when he’s pushing you to eat things you don’t want to. It’s important that you assert your boundaries; therefore, don’t allow him to pressurize you into eating something that would disrupt your fitness goals.
You should make it clear to him that you are the only one that should control what goes into your body.
4. You should constantly exercise
Another thing to do when you are gaining weight and you think it’s related to your boyfriend, I advise you to reinforce your exercise routine and stay active.
Especially when he discourages you from sticking to your routine. Let him know that exercise is important to you and helps you feel good.
5. Let him know the health consequences
If he continues pushing his unhealthy eating habits on you, then you should educate him on the health consequences of gaining weight.
Such as increased risk of chronic diseases and decreased quality of life. You should explain to him that you want to take care of your body and feel healthy.
6. Help him overcome his insecurities
If his actions stem from feeling insecure, you can support him in addressing and overcoming those feelings.
You should suggest he be involved in activities that would boost his self-esteem such as seeking therapy, engaging in hobbies, or practicing self-care.
7. Encourage him to eat healthy foods
You should propose that you both make an effort to eat healthier henceforth. That way, you both get to take care of yourself and bond at the same time.
You can try new recipes together, or better still, explore cuisines together. Whatever the case might be, ensure to eat healthy and exercise.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can your boyfriend cause you to gain weight??
Yes, your boyfriend can make you gain weight. Especially if he constantly makes you eat junk foods and stops you from engaging in your exercise routine.
What should I do if my boyfriend calls me fat?
Confront him directly and express how his comments about your weight make you feel.
Final Words
Gaining weight can come with numerous health issues, so I understand your concerns. If your boyfriend is trying to make you gain weight, make him understand the consequences.
Express your feelings, let him know how his actions are affecting you, and find out what’s going on in his mind. Educate him on the dangers and ask him to stop trying to change you. Meanwhile, if things don’t improve, don’t hesitate to leave the relationship. You deserve a partner who accepts and respects you the way you are.
