When a man cheats, it’s usually because he wants more from a relationship than what he’s getting at home. But sometimes, this is not the case. Sometimes, a man cheats on his wife because he actually fell in love with his misteress. If you want to know if this is the case, you must be able to read the signs your husband really loves his misteress.
A man who truly loves his mistress won’t feel guilty about spending time with her or talking to her because he feels there’s nothing wrong with doing so.
He pays attention to her needs. A man who truly loves someone will take the time to learn what she likes and doesn’t like so that he can make her happy. If your husband is doing this for his mistress, then it’s possible that he loves her as much as he loves you.
He listens to her when she talks about herself or her problems. An attentive man will take the time to listen when his wife or girlfriend speaks about herself because he knows it makes her feel good about herself and him.
READ ALSO: Signs of Emotional Cheating
Does My Husband Really Love His Mistress?
In my experience, men who cheat are not always in love with another woman. Usually, it is between lust and infatuation.
There is a difference between lust, infatuation and love. I am not saying that it is easy to differentiate between these emotions. In fact, they are often confused with each other because they are all very powerful feelings.
Infatuation is a feeling of intense excitement or new love for someone or something. It is a feeling of being in love or having a strong romantic desire for someone without any rational thought involved. Lust is an intense sexual desire; passion or longing for someone or something. The problem with lust is that it can be very fleeting, especially when there is no emotional connection to the person you’re attracted to.
Love comes from deep gratitude and appreciation for another person’s goodness and kindness towards you. Love doesn’t have to involve sex but can often be expressed as romantic feelings towards a partner. However, It’s not uncommon for a man to fall in love with his mistress, especially if he’s married or in a relationship.
12 Signs Your Husband Really Loves His Mistress
If you suspect that your husband has fallen for his mistress, here are some signs that will help you determine whether or not he is really in love with her:
- He makes time for her every day
- When he’s not with her, he thinks about her
- He makes her a part of family events
- He buys her nice things
- He puts big effort into his appearance
- He stops being intimate with you
- He starts actively avoiding you
- He undermines and gaslights you
- He compares you to his mistress
- He likes talking to his mistress more than you
- He starts forgetting key dates with his wife
- He wants a divorce from his wife
1. He makes time for her every day
If your husband sees his mistress daily, he has to be mindful of the time. If he’s in a relationship with a woman who lives far away, they will likely have to make arrangements to meet up on the weekends or after work. He will often ensure that their schedules line up so he can see her as often as possible without.
2. When he’s not with her, he thinks about her
He’s always thinking about what they’ll do when they see each other again. He takes the time to plan out their next rendezvous and can’t wait for it to happen.
Did he seem excited about seeing his mistress the last time you saw him in person? Or was there something else going on? Did he tell you that you were so great that all he could think of was how much better things would be if only you were around more often?
READ ALSO: Psychological Facts on Why Husband Ignores Wife
3. He makes her a part of family events
If you notice that your husband is trying to bring his mistress into the picture, it may be a sign that he really loves her. If she’s going to become part of your life, then it makes sense for him to bring her along for family events and introduce her as his girlfriend. He’ll want you all to know each other.
If your husband has invited the other woman in his life over for dinner or a holiday party at your home, this is definitely a sign that he wants everyone in the family circle to meet her.
When introducing his mistress to friends and family members, he might say something like “This is my girlfriend.” This public acknowledgement shows how important having another person in his life means to him, which can only mean they’re serious about each other
4. He buys her nice things
If your husband is spending money on his mistress, that’s a good sign that he really loves her. He may buy her expensive jewelry, or take her out to fancy restaurants and buy her things he wouldn’t take you to.
Men are also known for buying themselves things they want but can’t afford. If he starts buying himself expensive clothes and cars, it could be because he has a mistress who’s allowing him to spend his money on things that make him happy without having to do any work for it in return.
5. He puts big effort into his appearance
You might notice that he starts wearing more fashionable clothes and grooming himself a little more often. He might also start getting his hair cut more frequently. This can be a sign that he’s making an effort to look good for his mistress, so if you notice this, then chances are your husband is seeing someone else.
While it isn’t always the case, one thing we know for sure is that men who cheat like to wear cologne. They think that wearing cologne makes them smell better and gives them confidence when they go out with their mistresses or other women they want attention from.
6. He stops being intimate with you
If your husband suddenly stops being intimate with you or starts hiding his phone, that’s a pretty good sign he might be cheating. If he never wants to have sex with you anymore, or if he stops being affectionate and shows little interest in your body or needs for intimacy, those are all red flags.
Also, if he’s always going out and closing himself off from the family, it could be because he has a secret life involving another woman. Again, these things can be difficult for us as women to understand because we don’t have the same perspective on them as men do.
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7. He starts actively avoiding you
He no longer talks to you, doesn’t ask about your day, and hardly spends any time with you. If he’s at home, he’s in his room or the garage working on something; if he’s out of the house, it’s not because he wants to hang out with his wife. A man who truly loves a woman isn’t going to start avoiding her suddenly or for no reason whatsoever. He may grow angry over something you said or did, but then he’ll apologize for raising his voice at you and make an effort to be more understanding of what’s going on in your life from then on out.
8. He undermines and gaslights you
If your husband is having an affair, he may try to make you feel crazy. He might undermine your confidence or make you feel like there’s something wrong with you. Sometimes, he might also imply that he is doing you a favor by being with you.
ALSO READ: Reasons on Why Your Husband Is Not Interested in You
9. He compares you to his mistress
If he compares you to his mistress, it’s a bad sign. But if he does this regularly, it could be even worse. He will most likely say that she is more attractive than you and that she is more fun than you are. These comments should be taken very seriously and serve as a warning sign of infidelity.
10. He likes talking to his mistress more than you
If your husband is still talking to his mistress, it means that he really loves her. If you want proof of this, just listen in on their conversations and see how much longer they last than the ones he has with you. He will also probably want to spend more time with her than he spends with you, which can be a big deal if there’s been a separation between them.
11. He starts forgetting key dates with his wife
If your husband starts forgetting dates with his wife, it’s not necessarily because he doesn’t care about her. But it is definitely a sign that he has other priorities in his life.
He may forget important birthdays or anniversaries, which can be a serious cause for concern if you are trying to build your own relationship with him and the one between you.
12. He wants a divorce from his wife
If your husband is cheating on you, there’s a good chance that he wants a divorce. If his mistress is someone he loves, then he’ll want to have a new life with her. The end of your marriage won’t have to include him being unhappy with his situation.
Final Thought
If you’ve noticed all of these signs in your husband, it’s time to talk to him about what he’s doing. If you’re feeling confused or hurt by his behavior, make sure to get some emotional support from a friend or family member before confronting him.
Remember that he has decided to be with this mistress instead of you, so don’t try to talk him out of it, he will only resent your efforts at trying to change his mind. Instead, focus on how much happier she is making him and how unhappy he has made you feel over the years.
