When you’re in a casual relationship, you or your partner will inevitably meet someone else. But what if they get into a serious relationship? How do you know what to do when your FWB gets a boyfriend or girlfriend?
Just move on. When a friend with benefits gets a boyfriend or girlfriend, it’s important to have a conversation with them to discuss what this means for your relationship. If you are comfortable with continuing a casual, physical relationship, it is important to establish clear boundaries and communicate openly with the new partner about the nature of your relationship.
If you are uncomfortable continuing the relationship, it’s best to end things and move on. Ultimately, it’s important to respect your feelings and the feelings of all parties involved.
What to do When Your FWB Gets a Boyfriend or Girlfriend?
1. Move on
If you’re not ready for a relationship, don’t force it. Knowing what kind of relationship you want is important before getting into one. If your FWB has his or her mind made up, then it probably isn’t be worth sticking around.
On the other hand, if your FWB is unsure about their feelings and seems like they are having second thoughts about their new partner, you might still have a chance. This could be an opportunity for both of you to figure out whether or not this is something that needs more thought.
If things don’t work out and things are over between them and their new partner by the time another month rolls around, then maybe there’s something there after all.
2. Be mature and graceful in the way you handle it
This is an important step if you want to remain friends with your FWB after they start dating someone else. You can’t be childish, petty, or clingy about the fact that they’ve found someone new. You also don’t want to make a big deal about how better their current relationship is than yours was with them; that would just come across as jealous and mean-spirited.
Instead, try being mature and understanding of their situation. Understand why your friend made this decision for themselves and respect their choice even if it didn’t work out for you. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with what you had together.
The best thing you can do now is support them as much as possible while they navigate this new stage in life together and perhaps even help them navigate through some of the difficulties that come with entering into such an intimate relationship.
3. Have fun outside of your FWB
If this happens to you, don’t let it get you down. It’s perfectly normal for couples to spend time together without their significant others, but that doesn’t mean they’re forgetting about or replacing their friends. Don’t let the relationship between two people stop the fun times in your life.
Instead, just make sure everyone is enjoying themselves. If there’s something else on your mind that doesn’t involve romance, go ahead and find others who want to do those things with you. You’ll never know what kind of awesome connections will come up as long as you’re open-minded enough to try new things outside your FWB.
4. Establish boundaries with them and their partner
It’s important to establish boundaries with a friend-with-benefits so that you don’t become too attached to them. If your FWB is dating someone else, you should try to be friendly with the new person in their life.
However, it’s important not to turn into a third wheel or make yourself feel awkward around them by trying too hard to get along with their boyfriend or girlfriend. If they’re making an effort not to see you as anything more than friends after they’ve gotten together romantically with another person, then respect that boundary.
5. Allow yourself to feel sad, but don’t let it consume you
You’ve been together for a long time, and now suddenly, your FWB is getting serious with someone else. This can be devastating for both of you. You might feel like you lost something special in your relationship or that he or she has betrayed your trust. But at the same time, try not to let these feelings consume you.
Also, do not make it difficult for yourself or others around you to function normally during this time period. Otherwise, it may be better if you take time off each other until things have calmed down a bit.
6. Be ok with it
No matter what you think, you should be okay with your FWB getting a boyfriend or girlfriend. It can be hard, but it’s important to remember that they can have a life separate from yours. If they’re your friend, then they deserve the same respect as anyone else in your life.
If you’re jealous of your FWB’s new partner, take a step back and ask yourself why that is. This person means something special to you, but so does every other relationship.
You are not entitled to their love or attention any more than anyone lucky enough to get them. If this makes sense for how you feel about it, then there’s nothing wrong with being happy for them and moving on from there.
7. Talk about it
This is probably the most important thing you can do when your FWB starts dating someone else. How will you know what to do if you’re not talking about your feelings? Talking about things with a friend or therapist will help ensure that no one has to guess where everyone stands in the relationship and that everyone feels comfortable with where they stand.
Can You Have a Girlfriend and a Friend With Benefits?
Yes, you can have both. The thing about having a girlfriend and a friend with benefits is it’s not for everyone. Some people are good at compartmentalizing their love lives, and some aren’t. Some people want to be in an exclusive relationship, and some don’t.
But if you’re the person who can handle it, it can work out really well. You get the intimacy and emotional connection that comes with a romantic partner without the stress of having to meet their needs or worry about whether they will cheat on you.
But there are also some major downsides to this kind of relationship, particularly if one person wants more than the other does. If one person thinks they’re going to get married someday, but the other doesn’t want that, then there could be some awkwardness down the road.
What Should You Not Do With Your FWB When They Have A Partner?
The following are things you should not do with your FWB:
1. Don’t go on dates
This relationship is casual and non-committal, so don’t take it too seriously. If you’re spending the night at their place, stay in the guest room and give them their space. They don’t want to feel obligated to do anything or spend time with you just because they already bought dinner or something.
2. Don’t get jealous or possessive
You’re not in a relationship, so sharing them with others is okay. Just because they’re spending time with you doesn’t mean they don’t want to hang out with others as well.
3. Don’t think it’s going somewhere more serious
Never think your relationship with your FWB can become more serious than it is, or secretly hope for it. There’s no reason why this can’t be a long-term thing for both of you. But if one of you is looking for something more serious, this probably isn’t going to work out long-term.
Final Thoughts
In this case, you can still be friends with your friend-with-benefits. You don’t have to use the word “ex” to describe your relationship with him or her anymore. It might be sad at first, but you will learn to cope with it in time. After all, other people are willing to accept that they are not perfect and make mistakes sometimes.
You can remain close friends, even if they start dating someone else. If this often happens enough, you may consider whether what you two had was worth it.
